The UK has announced plans to ration the food supply of public slaves in accordance with their needs.
Master slave owner Gordon Brown was quoted as saying:
The public serfdom is fat and useless. We must purge our slave ranks of the obese and slovenly. To this end, I have proposed a plan to starve the masses under a system of rationed food allotments until they have been reduced in weight to that of late stage AIDS patients.
After delivering his decree, Brown resumed his mid evil feast high in his ivory tower consuming a massive leg of lamb along with a goblet of fine wine.
The BBC reports:
For Dr David Haslam, chairman of the National Obesity Forum, the current wave of overeating has its roots in the end of rationing in the 1950s and the shift to a society of plenty.
“We have a situation where food is available everywhere, open round the clock – cheaper, poor quality, bigger portions – a situation where food is ubiquitous. It is the first time really in history where food is limitless.
“We haven’t developed an instinct that tells us when not to eat. Our strongest instincts tell us to eat.”
He advocates taxes on high fat and high sugar foods and sweeping measures to promote physical activity, saying: “There is a place for the nanny state, especially when you look at kids.”
In a statement delivered before a packed audience in the UK parliament, Haslam went on to say:
The serfdom is no longer producing for us at an efficient rate. We must raise the price of food until the masses are starved back into a healthy condition! The serfs we’ve been breeding are turning into fat lazy slobs. This is effecting the number of hot teens available to indulge my perverted desires. We must act to stop this now before the supply of hot teens and healthy slave labor is reduced any further!
The elite of the UK parliament immediately rose up and gave an hour long standing ovation to Haslam in honor of his brilliant recommendations.