TSA Agent: I Am God (And A Raging Pedo)

NBC LA reports:

A TSA agent was arrested on January 3rd in Terminal One at LAX, a source told NBCLA. He had just gotten off duty and was behaving erratically, saying, “I am god, I’m in charge.”

Obviously the editors of NBC LA are retarded – that’s God with a capital “G” not “g”.

Its obvious that the reason why this TSA agent was acting erratically is because he had blue balls from staring at underage nude girls scanner images all day.   In response to this problem, the TSA has released this statement:

After a lengthly internal investigation, we found the primary cause of erratic megalomania in TSA screening agents was from a lack of sexual relief after being forced to stare at nude images of hot teens all day.  In order to rectify this problem, we have moved the scanner image screens into spank booths with appropriate privacy and sanitary wipes.

We feel this should eliminate most problems of erratic megalomania with the agency.  We would like to appologize to the public for not remedying this situation sooner.

In other news, Pee Wee Herman was awarded TSA screening agent of the year for the 4th consecutive year.  His accomplishments include operating a scanner booth for 48 hours straight with no breaks.