A seven month old baby has miraculously survived being shot after the parents killed themselves and their two year old son, citing fears over a lack of government action on global warming.
Francisco Lotero, 56, and Miriam Coletti, 23, are said to have shot their young son in the back, killing the toddler instantly.
Neighbours called the police, after complaining of a stench coming from the house.
Clearly this couple were either already very much deranged or were so terrified that they ended their own lives believing that they were contributing to the destruction of the planet.
In a written press release, Al Gore released this statement:
I applaud the family for taking the steps necessary to reduce global warming. I have been working toward a “final solution” to the problem that involves the US military moving to reduce greenhouse gas emissions of the US population. Its important to remember people should not kill themselves by using bullets, which take CO2 emissions to create, they should instead suffocate themselves using biodegradable rope that they cultivate from plant fibers themselves.