Hire An Intern? – GO TO JAIL!

Praise Mihn

The statist tyrants you call a government have decided that unpaid internships constitute a clear and present danger to Amerika.

Hence, unpaid internships must be banned.

Mises Institute’s Jeffrey Tucker details the threat to the State your children pose by actually trying to acquire job experience.

You see, children that have job experience might actually be productive and competitive members of the private sector workforce.  This is a big no no to Democrats and Republicans who feel young adults should be dependent slaves to government.  Hence, the outright attacks by statist tyrants against corporations who hire interns.

Here’s one of the numerous rules employers must abide by if they want to hire an unpaid intern:

4. The employer that provides the training derives no immediate advantage from the activities of the trainees, and on occasion the employer’s operations may actually be impeded;

Allow me to paraphrase:

The criminal corporate employer that attempts to hire an unpaid intern must ensure the intern does nothing productive.  Should the intern inadvertently do something productive, the employer is guilty of a class A felony punishable by death.

But perhaps Nancy J. Leppink of the US Labor Dept says it better:

“If you’re a for-profit employer or you want to pursue an internship with a for-profit employer, there aren’t going to be many circumstances where you can have an internship and not be paid and still be in compliance with the law”

Your children are too dumb to be allowed to gain job experience.  It is the State’s job to ensure your children are employed in meaningless positions.

I shall now lay out examples of an acceptable useless position for your children and an unacceptable meaningful position for your children.

Example: Riverside County CA is hiring a food service worker for $20.00 an hour with pension, health, dental, 8 hours sick time per month, 12 paid holidays a year, etc.. etc.. etc..  Requirements?  1 year of food prep experience.

This is an acceptable useless position for your children.

Example: The Center for Family Support is offering an unpaid internship in Human Resources work for students looking to gain experience in recruiting and the hiring process.  No benefits or pay is provided, however hours are flexible.

This is an unacceptable meaningful position for your children.

In researching this article what I found WILDLY humorous was the fact that a huge amount of the unpaid internships were either in the government or non-profit sectors.  In fact, some of the most highly sought after internships in the nation are those in Washington working for bureaucrats without pay.

For some reason I highly doubt the DoL will be investigating the bureaucrats in DC for violating labor laws.  Labor laws are for the little people, like yourself.  In DC, our glorious leaders are exempt from such things as laws and the Constitution.

From the White House internship program’s website:

This select group of young men and women from across the country dedicate their time, talents, energy, and service to better the White House, the community, and the nation. These committed citizens become a part of the White House team. The assignments given to an intern on any given day could include conducting research, managing incoming inquiries, attending meetings, and writing memos.

Is the White House Internship a paid position?

No. White House Internships are unpaid positions.

Of course, I feel the White House should be allowed to take on as many volunteer interns as it likes without having the DoL crap down its neck.  However, if the criminals at the DoL are going to put a boot in the face of corporate interns, I feel tyranny should be equally applied to our glorious leaders in Washington as well.

Of course, with government, they don’t have to worry about budgetary constraints.   Thus, all a ban on unpaid interns in DC would do is cause them to appropriate my money to fund the positions.