This hit piece on Rand was so over-the-top I found myself cracking up as I was reading it.
Remember boys and girls, without government, the world would devolve into Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome with roving bands of post-apocalyptic gangs driving around a desert wasteland in armored vehicles shooting each other for food and fuel oil.
The government makes the Sun rise in the morning and the stars shine at night.
The government feeds the children and keeps them safe from capitalist exploiters.
Only the government is smart enough to save for your retirement.
Only the government is competent enough to find cures for diseases.
Only the government is wise enough to teach the children.
The government is your friend.
What do libertarians believe? On some issues, such as abortion, they are divided. But on gun control, for instance, the libertarian platform indicates that they believe in no restrictions whatsoever on gun ownership, no registrations or background checks — in short, no statutory or regulatory effort to prevent convicted criminals, registered sex offenders, suspected terrorists, illegal immigrants or anyone else from getting their hands on firearms, including anything from a 9mm to a missile launcher.
What voters in Kentucky and elsewhere will learn, when they look more deeply into the movement from which Paul emerged, is that libertarians believe in very little government. They seem to feel that the kind of state suited to the 18th century would serve America just as well today. So they would do away with all legal restrictions on wages, hours and working conditions, including the minimum wage and the ban on child labor. If your boss refused to pay you at the end of the week, the government would do nothing — and you would have to sue.
Under a libertarian regime, every protection that modern Americans take for granted would disappear, leaving us to the mercy of fate, corporations and economic cycles.
No more laws stopping air and water pollution, no more regulation of food and agricultural safety, no controls on advertising cigarettes or alcohol to children. (The libertarian society would be paradise for E. coli bacteria, the oil industry and Joe Camel.) No more Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, food stamps, public schools, national or state parks, or farm subsidies of any kind; no more federal support for scientific research into clean energy or curing cancer or AIDS or any other disease; and, in fact, no more federal money for education at any level, from Head Start to state colleges, universities and graduate schools.
In honor of this epic ode to government, I bring you heaven on Earth: