Doing Bar Tricks = GO TO JAIL FOR 45 YEARS!

Our criminal incompetent government has decided that doing magic acts and bar tricks that hurt no one is a criminal offense worth 45 years of prison time.

The Washington Examiner reports:

Two fire-breathing bartenders face up to 45 years in prison each for performing flaming bar tricks.

Jimmy’s Old Town Tavern owner Jimmy Cirrito said his bartenders have been entertaining his customers — by juggling bottles of alcohol and spitting out streams of flames using matchbooks and lighters — for more than a decade and no one’s complained. But shortly after midnight on July 24, two of his longtime employees were hauled out of the Herndon bar in handcuffs and charged with three felonies each plus other misdemeanors

“They were being treated as if they were terrorists, charged as if they intentionally tried to burn down the tavern,” Cirrito said.

I’m so outraged at this nonsense I’m about to spit fire myself.

The criminal fascist police state knows no bounds.  You are not allowed to do anything without getting permission from the nanny state at all times.  Soon breathing will be regulated into submission for harming the Gia by exhaling CO2.

You are a peon worthless slave that WILL hand over all your labor and resources to the State.  You are an infantile child that must be protected from yourself through the use of violent men in black suits with machine guns.  Since you are too god damn dumb to be allowed to do anything without permission, its best we just lock you up right now for your own protection.