The Red’s should have registered for a Permit with the Dept. of Homeland Celebrations.
Luckily the first offense for unapproved partying is only a $100 fine. Here in Los Angeles our team, The Los Doyers, strategically aligned themselves to completely miss the post season and set a good example. Together with the Dept. of Health and the State Legislature, they are teaming up to make a difference in chidlren’s lives. We contacted CA State Senator Alex Padilla (D) who is part of the coalition “Damn You’re Dumb, I Can’t Believe You’ve Made It This Far Without Our Help”, his office released this statement:
“We try to teach our children at a very early age that among the many dangerous consequences of winning – such as hard work and permanently impairing another human being’s psyche through the perils of competition – that perhaps deadliest of all is commemorating a year’s worth of practice and teamwork by means of non state approved vices without the proper licensing fees and background checks is in direct violation of City Ordinance 4088 subsection 26, subsequent municipal codes notwithstanding. We’ve said it a thousand times.”
It is now widely known that parties secondary to postseason berths cause cancer and release 100x the carbon emissions into the atmosphere as progressive teams whose record screams equality at .500.
The Cincinnati Health Department will investigate the Cincinnati Reds for violations of the state smoking ban after people complained players smoked cigars indoors while celebrating their National League Central Division title Tuesday night.
A lot of players could be seen on TV smoking the cigars, and Reds owner Bob Castellini was passing them out.
Five people called a statewide smoking ban complaint hotline, Merz said. Those complaints were sent to the city health department today for investigation.
May the whistleblowers of playoffgate be blessed by a thousand pelosi’s!