Mercatus Center: Socialist Security Going Super Nova Right Now

The Mercatus Center at George Mason University has reviewed the most recent Socialist Security projections and concludes the State will be forced into borrowing to fund payments beginning immediately.

Since the Social Security trust funds are filled with Treasury securities and the cash used to purchase them has already been spent, the government will have to borrow, raise taxes, or cut spending to pay out benefits – starting now.

Former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi was quoted as saying:

“Normally I would worry about the slave chattel becoming upset with our Mafia enterprise engaging in the looting of their children’s future, but it has become clear to us that the television show Dancing With The Stars has made the public so incomprehensibly stupid that we can pretty much do whatever the hell we want without any serious repercussions.”

Current Speaker of the House John Boehner also issued a statement on the findings:

“Back in college my roommates used to call me Boner.”

After some reflection, I’ve come to view this as a good thing since it means less time until the lollerdollar is finally killed off by statism, which obviously means less time until Bitcoins take over as the de facto global currency.