Last night my girlfriend went out with her friends while I decided to stay home and watched some Netflix.
Jesus H Christ that was a mistake.
My brain must have a homing beacon in it for depressing movies. I watched three movies that nearly made my head explode. It was like watching a train wreck in super-slow motion. I couldn’t turn off the television no matter how revolted, disgusted, or incredibly angry I became. If you don’t have Netflix, I recommend you spend the 9 bucks it costs for a monthly subscription just so you can watch these three movies.
The three movies I watched, which I will briefly discuss so that others may share in my pain:
- Azorian: The Raising of the K-129
- National Geographic: Inside North Korea
The first movie, Azorian: The Raising of the K-129, discusses the 1970′s classified CIA mission to raise a sunken Soviet ballistic missile submarine from 16,000 feet of water. If you think that such a feat is impossible, leave it up to our criminal government to prove you right.
The CIA ended up using Howard Hughes as a front man to finance the clandestine project, code named Azorian. The project cost 800 million dollars, which is roughly 4.5 billion dollars in 2010 dollars (wiki is wrong). They built an absolutely massive ship named the Glomar Explorer to raise the sunken sub. The ship had absolutely no other purpose except to raise the sub. In the end they only managed to get a small portion of the bow.
The resources wasted in the building of the Glomar Explorer were roughly equivalent to building two Belagio hotel resorts. The intelligence return on investment was basically zero. We obtained a few crushed nuclear tipped torpedoes, but nothing was in a salvageable condition and the entire hulk was covered in radio active plutonium.
What it all boils down to is that the US government spent enough money to build two world class resorts in order to obtain a couple of useless Soviet torpedoes. In the movie they interview the clowns who worked on the project. Of course, all of them felt the project was absolutely worth the money spent on it. Not that you or your parents have a choice in paying for it. A handful of US intel agents decided the United States public would be better off without two new world class resorts.
This absolutely epic waste of resources had me fuming mad, so I decided to watch another movie to cheer myself up: Kimjongilia.
Kimjongilia is a movie about several individuals who managed to escape from North Korea. The movie weaves their stories together to paint a picture of life inside the communist state. Needless to say I was ready to kill myself after this one. The stories are so insane you basically watch the entire movie shaking your head in disbelief. One guy talks about how his friend was electrocuted on a fence in front of his face during his escape. A woman talks about how her son and husband were executed in front of her. Another man talks about eating rats and how the greatest stories he ever heard while he was in a North Korean prison camp were about food.
Of course, the US has some responsibility for keeping the terrorist State in power.
Since 1995 [to 2008], the United States has provided North Korea with over $1 billion in
assistance, about 60% of which has paid for food aid and 40% or so paying for energy
assistance…Since 1996, the United States has sent just over 2 million metric tons (MT) of food assistance, worth about $675 million
Robert King, the U.S. special envoy for North Korean human rights, told VOA’s Korean service in an exclusive interview that Washington will send $750,000 in emergency aid to Pyongyang.
Consider that the North Korean State produces basically nothing. Since it produces nothing, one has to wonder how in the hell it can afford to arm 1.2 million military and police personnel while its entire population is starving to death. Of course, the answer is that the entire North Korea State exists strictly because of international “aid” which is then channeled into State coffers. Without the aid, the State would collapse overnight; a point which is not missed by the North Koreans who escaped in the movie.
I managed to finish watching Kimjongilia with still a smidgen of hope left in my soul. This, of course, was completely unacceptable. By this point I was on a mission to wallow in misery and by god nothing was going to stand in my way.
To finish off the night I watched National Geographic: Inside North Korea. Lisa Ling and her crew managed to get inside the communist police State by claiming to be part of an international aid mission of doctors. North Korea basically has no medical services for its citizens, so it relies heavily on foreign relief missions like the type depicted in the documentary to provide medical care for its people.
The picture of life that emerges from this documentary is truly staggering. For example, at the end of the movie the doctors had managed to cure several people of cataracts which restored their sight. All of the patients had gathered in what appears to be a church in order for the doctors to give them a final looking over.
Every single patient walked right past the doctors up to the front of the “church” which had an icon of Kim Jong Il hanging on the wall and praised Kim Jong’s image as a catholic would worship the Mother Mary.
“Thank you great leader for restoring my sight!”
I shit you not.
The movie was so depressing I finally felt I had crushed every last ounce of happiness and hope out of my body, leaving me thoroughly exhausted and ready for a good night of sleep.
I hope I have brightened your day with this article and may Mao keep you safe through various government subsidies and programs.
The “Fact”: He had a supernatural birth
According to North Korean historical literature, Kim Jong Il was born in a log cabin inside a secret base on Korea’s most sacred mountain, Mt. Paekdu. At the moment of his birth, a bright star lit up the sky, the seasons spontaneously changed from winter to spring, and rainbows appeared. This contradicts way less interesting Western accounts of his birth, which state the dictator was born in a guerilla camp in Russia, while his father was on the run from the Japanese.