The Other Night I Got a Teen To Strip For Me By Pretending To Be a Cop

So here’s the story:

I bought one of those “stick-on” police lights that detectives use for their unmarked cars from a surplus supply store and went trolling the local cruising strip looking for some hot teens.  After a bit of lurking around I managed to find a car full of hotties.

After determining that they were sufficiently hot, I flipped on the police light and pulled them over.  At this point I walked up to the car wearing a business suit while carrying a fake cop badge and demanded to see the girls IDs.  I told them I had pulled them over for speeding.

After I got the girls’ IDs, I told them I was going to have to cross check them to see if they had any warrants out for their arrest.  So I walk back to my car and meander around for a bit acting like I’m looking up their criminal history.  Then I walk back to their car and order one of 17 year old hotties to get out.   I told her that I was going to let her off with a warning for speeding, but a warrant came up for her name and the description vaguely matched her.

At this point I told her that in order to verify that she wasn’t the person named in the warrant, I would have to inspect her body for identifying marks, tattoos and piercings.   I told her that she needed to strip down for me so I could inspect her body – LOL!   After I got a good image in my brain for later use, I sent her on her way and told her to have a nice night.

She did it for me and I totally got away with it!   The girls were ecstatic that no one got arrested or got a ticket.  It works like a charm every time.  I’ve done this a few dozen times before and I think I’ve really perfected the technique.

Of course, the above story is a work of fiction, but it is precisely what happened to 17 year old Tamsen Reid.  The only difference being that the cop in her case was a real pig.

KSL.com reports:

SALT LAKE CITY — Tamsen Reid said she didn’t even realize something wasn’t right until she tried to clear up a drug possession charge she said wasn’t hers.

That’s when she found out she was not really wanted out of Arizona and realized that the officer who she claims pulled her over and made her take all of her clothes off — allegedly so he could verify her identity — had violated her rights.

Wednesday, Reid, who turned 18 two weeks ago, sat in front of reporters and TV cameras and described the night of Nov. 20, 2010, when she said she was strip-searched while sitting in the passenger seat of a car pulled off to the side of I-15 in Box Elder County.

Consider what my punishment would be if I actually did the things outlined in the above story.  Consider how many felony charges I would be facing.  Consider that the girl was under the age of 18.

How easy do you think the criminal injustice system would be on me?

Do any of you think this pig will get the same kind of treatment any other citizen would get?  He’s not behind bars at this point, so that should tell you something right there.

A point of note, in addition to being charged with false imprisonment, lewd conduct with a minor and criminal harassment, I would also be facing charges of impersonating a pig and impersonating a police vehicle.  The question I have for you my dear readers is, why shouldn’t we expect the cop to be charged with the exact same crimes?

Is the pig acting like a cop when he’s ordering a teen to strip naked?  Is the pig using his police vehicle for official use when he’s using it to scam teenage girls?  If he’s not acting like a cop, then at that moment he must not be a cop; rather he becomes a criminal.

I suppose I could take this logic even further and argue that why should anyone ever be charged with impersonating a cop at all?  Don’t I have the same right to enact an arrest as the police officer does if I see a crime being committed against another person or property?  Why should society make a distinction between someone wearing an official costume and someone simply acting on their own conscience?

Tamsen goes on to say:

The woman said she had no reason not to believe the officer.

“Cops are supposed to uphold the law. I figure they’re always out to do the right thing,” she said Wednesday.

Reid believed Womack was actually trying to help her and her friends avoid having to call their parents or be booked into jail, she said. “He was joking around. He was being a nice guy about everything.”

Let this be a lesson to all of you.  No matter how nice a pig acts, you would be a fool to assume anything he does is in your best interest.  If a pig can find some arbitrary law to screw you with because you opened up your fat trap or agreed to a search, he will do it.

Never trust a pig.  – Ever.

Tamsen had to learn her lesson the hard way:

Despite putting on a brave face for reporters, Reid said she still has anxiety over the incident, goes through mood swings and nightmares that ended with her waking up screaming. Although she still believes in law enforcement, Reid said she probably couldn’t get herself to ever consent to a search again.

Consider that Tamsen wouldn’t be having nightmares right now if her parents properly instructed her to treat cops as hostile pirates and to never comply with any search request that isn’t accompanied by a warrant.

Never talk to pigs, never consent to a search and never assume pigs are telling you the truth about anything.

 

  • exuberant1

    “Consider what my punishment would be if I
    actually did the things outlined in the above story.  Consider how many
    felony charges I would be facing.  Consider that the girl was under the
    age of 18.
    How easy do you think the criminal injustice system would be on me?”

    Shit I dunno.  Maybe they’ll make you a deputy. Then what you did would be ‘legal’ in America (or at least it would be a non-punishable event brought about by the presence of a god-king, which as we all know are unpunishable)

  • Orthzar

    “you would be a fool to assume anything he does is in your best interest.”

    And this is why I don’t trust cops.  They are not payed to protect me, therefore I assume that they will not protect me.  To the contrary, cops are payed to harm people by enforcing words on paper, specifically laws and judicial decrees.  Avoidance is probably the best policy in regards to cops.

  • Orthzar

    “you would be a fool to assume anything he does is in your best interest.”

    And this is why I don’t trust cops.  They are not payed to protect me, therefore I assume that they will not protect me.  To the contrary, cops are payed to harm people by enforcing words on paper, specifically laws and judicial decrees.  Avoidance is probably the best policy in regards to cops.

  • Tamsen

    I appreciate this.

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