Do Men’s Looks Matter When It Comes To Attracting Women?

This article continues to be one of the most popular posts on this web site nearly a year after I wrote it. Today, 9/29/2014, I’ve decided to update it.  See this post for a huge collection of related seminars and self-help instructors.

All issues men have in relation to attracting women can be boiled down to one phrase.

self-worth

The bottom line is this gentlemen.  If you don’t think you’re worthy of the girl you’re hitting on, she isn’t going to find you worthy of dating.

If you don’t believe your own value as a human being and potential partner are worth more than her’s, then you’re basically begging her to do you the favor of dating you.  Women aren’t into charity when it comes to dating.

If you say, “a woman would never date me because I’m fat.”  Then you’re right, she won’t.  Not particularly because you’re fat, but because you don’t think she wants to date fat men.  Which means you’re automatically assuming your value is less than hers.  Which means you perceive your own worth as being less than hers.

If you say, “a woman would never date me because I’m a short balding Asian man.”  Then you’re right, she won’t.  Why should she?  Why should she date a guy who doesn’t believe he’s worthy of her?  There’s no way it will ever happen.

The very fact you’re reading this article tells me you have self-worth issues.  How did you end up on this page?  What were you looking for?  Were you looking for validation of what you already believe?  Are you looking for me to tell you that being ugly is what’s stopping you from getting a date?

Imagine this scenario.  You see the hottest girl you’ve ever seen in your life standing in the produce isle of your local supermarket.  Are you afraid to hit on her?  Do you see yourself getting shot down brutally, so why even bother?  Because if you do, then you shouldn’t bother, because it’s never going to work.  You’ll just act like a terrified dork, which might be endearing but definitely not sex worthy.  If you’re just trying to be her friend, then that’s all you’ll ever be.

The only thing that matters is self-worth.  Big fat ugly guys date hot women.  Short balding Asians date hot women.  And sometimes good looking GQ models end up marrying fatties.  Why?  Because some guys value themselves highly and some don’t. Women never trade down when it comes to value.  They only date men whose value is higher than their own.

The beautiful and terrible thing about this is that the value women judge you on has very little to do with anything that is external to yourself.  Sure, being rich helps, being good looking helps, being tall helps, having a full head of hair helps, etc.. etc.. etc..  But you could have all these things and still fail when it comes to dating if you don’t perceive your own value as being higher than the girl you’re hitting on.

There should be no anxiety when approaching a girl for a date.  Anxiety comes from caring about the outcome.  And that’s only an issue if you perceive her opinion to actually be worth something – but it’s not.

Her opinion is worth shit.  It doesn’t mean shit.  Her opinion has the value of a five year old’s.  In reality, it doesn’t matter if she thinks you’re a big fat pile of shit or God’s gift to women.  What she gonna do?  Why should you care what she thinks about you?  If you care what she thinks, you’re already ascribing wayyyy too much unearned value to her.  She hasn’t earned the right for you to care what she thinks about you yet.  Being hot doesn’t make her opinion worth more than a can of beans.

Your a fucking man for Christ sake.  Act like.  Walk up assuming she’s an airhead bimbo and the purpose of your interacting with her is tease her with the opportunity of dating someone who is clearly way out of her league.  It doesn’t matter if you actually are “way out her league,”  it only matters if you believe you are.  Because if you don’t believe it, then you are going to fail no matter how rich, how good looking or how tall you are.

If you just stop to think logically about this, you’d realize that it is IMPOSSIBLE for women to be attracted to looks the way men are.  Just imagine for a moment you were a woman and you had the same sex drive you do now, only for men.  You’d be out getting boned non-stop, on the subway, in the gas station bathroom, EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME.  You’d never make it out of the supermarket because you’d be getting boned in the produce isle.

The world simply couldn’t operate like that.  Women would see a hot dude and immediately be trying to suck him off.  The world would implode.

Consider this situation, If a hot girl walks up to a random ugly guy and offers sex, unless he’s gay or the most faithful man on the planet, he’s going to take her up on the offer.  If a hot guy walks up to a random ugly girl and offers sex, what are the odds she turns him down compared to the odds of the guy turning the hot girl down?  As the videos demonstrate, not a single girl out of a hundred took the guy up on his offer.  So there is empirical proof that it doesn’t work like that.

Watch a short, balding ginger make out with two hot girls at the same time.

If you look at the work put out by companies like Real Social Dynamics these days, all of them are saying the same things I’ve been saying for years now.  They don’t teach pick-up lines, they focus almost entirely on correcting self-esteem and self-worth issues.

See this post for a huge collection of related seminars and self-help instructors.

  • Christian

    I speak from experience if you want to attract women you need to dress to win. They all like a guy with a tie on. Now I am not saying you can’t without but you have more options if you do. BTW this will spook your work into thinking your looking for another job. You may also be mistaken for the owner of the business. :)

    • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede

      Women like guys with ties because its unusual and because when a guy wears a tie, it puts him into a more confident mind state. It’s never about the looks directly, it’s always about how those looks impact the self-confidence of the guy.

      When you’re wearing a tie, are you going to act like a slob? Are you going to drool beer down the front of your shirt? Do you feel more like a pimp than an average chump?

      It’s not about the tie, its about the mind state the tie brings. You don’t need a tie, a suit, or a fancy shirt to pick up women.

      • Christian

        Well I have been married for nineteen years. So I don’t flirt or give any women any kind of reason to flirt with me. They are attracted to men who dress to win. That or I am just a stud. My friend I used to work with said they are attracted to men with wedding rings on. He even wanted to borrow my ring for a party once.

        • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede

          “My friend I used to work with said they are attracted to men with wedding rings on. ”

          Bingo.

          It’s called pre-selection. Women know you must have something to offer because some other woman agreed to spend the rest of her life with you.

          That’s just how they think.

          That shit would never cross a guys mind. Guys might get jealous because some guy has a hot wife, but not because they think she has something to offer besides her ass.

      • Aaron David

        genious yes a tie . good job. if every guy could’ve just thought of that. thanks stud

  • Tom

    I’ve lived a lot of years and had a good share of wives and girlfriends. Women are interested in a man’s looks. If he LOOKS like he has lots of money, that is!

    • RustyBoltz

      There is that sect of women who are “gold-diggers” but it’s a relatively small club for the most part. Most people are middle class average types who don’t go to the club scene every weekend to land a hot young Wall Street stud. And to emphasize the point of this article, I’ve personally known a couple hot young studs that landed model types all the time. And ya know what? These guys were incredibly short and below average in looks. BUT, they did dress really nice, lived with confidence, and pretty much lived life how they wanted. One of them told me that he would only date physically attractive women. It was some kind of rule for him. I was always shocked at how gorgeous their girlfriends were.

      I’ve been told I’m pretty good looking, but because of low self esteem and some insecurities, I’ve blown so many opportunities because I couldn’t get past myself and didn’t know that some of these pretty women were actually interested in me. Though I can remember a couple times in my life I was caught off guard by the fact that a very good looking woman was interested in me and we had great conversation, etc. But it was because I was feeling so good during that moment (for some reason I was in a state of rare confidence) and she was so open and real that I couldn’t believe I was hanging out with such a beauty. So there you go, life experience. Cheers! ;)

      • Aaron David

        gorgeous girls are morons just like them. dont you get it. they offer shit. thats why they are together? now try to meet the standards of a bright gorgeous person. then you have a conversation

  • James

    Women are attracted to deluded narcissists?

    I knew it.

    • dan

      YES,THEY ARE.The bigger moron you are,the more girls will like you.

  • Jonathan Jaech

    Nicely written, MIchael. More could be said, of course. But you’ve made a good start.

  • Meg

    Um…actually looks matter.

    • Michael Suede

      It depends what you mean by that. Good looks make it easier for a guy to attract women, I’m not disputing that. What I’m disputing is this notion that good looking women base their attraction predominately on a guy’s looks.

      I know plenty of average looking guys who are dating model quality women. I see it every day with my own two eyes.

      • Joe

        How many approaches did they have to make to get those model quality girls? How many would you have to make? The bottom line is that if you are average, short, or ugly, you will need to display RIDICULOUS game to get even a cute girl. Tall, good-looking guys just have to be regular people. I’ve seen this play out many many times.

        • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede

          No debate there. I never said it was easy, just that it’s possible.

      • dan

        Personally I find good looking guys almost always have good looking girlfriends.I did years of experimenting on dating sites,setting up fake profiles with different pictures to see the response.Where the better looking profiles got responses,the less handsome invariably failed to garner any response, regardless of anything written into the profile description.A good looking guy with 1 dodgy selfie taken with their i phone and 6 word profile description gets about 10 times more interest than an average looking guy with studio quality pictures and a profile full of details about what a great guy they are and how many interests. As other readers have said, you are basically saying one needs to be delusional in order to attract women.
        You make the mistake, like many others, of believing you are what you think. The truth is, you are what you are, what you think has nothing to do with it. The cart does not come before the horse.Confidence must be based upon a realistic appraisal of ones attributes. People lack confidence for a specific reason,and that is they have a history of underperforming compared to their peers. Why would you feel confidence when you know their are many more talented,stronger ,smarter and better looking guys than you? Are you an elite athlete? Did you earn a doctorate or masters degree? Can you memorize all the numbers in the phone directory? Can you bench 200lbs? If the answer to all of the above is no,then you are a fool if you believe you are something special.The world is full of people who are better than you.You are not smart,talented or particularly capable as a human being.This is not a self defeating statement.It is a fact of life based on the observation of evidence.The question I would like answered is this.
        Given that one does not perform above average at any life skill or pursuit regardless of the degree of effort they apply, how would they convince themselves that they should be full of confidence?
        If I walk onto a battlefield unarmed, naked and start prancing about like an idiot,should I be confident of survival, or would it make more sense to remain concealed in my trench, at least until I have aquired some weapons which I think are comparable to what my enemy has? If those weapons are not available, should I run headlong into enemy fire, or should I surrender or retreat?
        I think the battle field is a good analogy to life in general.One reaches a point in life where they realise they are outgunned by their competition.Not because they gave up to easily ,or didnt have the guts.Its because a wise person understands people are not born equal.It may be politically incorrect to say that,yet it is the truth. Some people perform well and others dont, and it is mostly as a result of the way they were born and raised in very early life.What you do in your mature years has little bearing upon your attributes are as a human.

        • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede

          LOL

          Jesus Christ I feel sorry for you dude. You got so much emotional baggage you’re carrying around, it sounds like you’re about to sink like the Titanic.

          • pianodan marks

            Nice video, but doesnt strictly support your point.The ginger is not actually short.Hes also intelligent and witty.A lot of people dont even have that to work with.I can immediately tell he has never experienced genuine shyness at any time in his life either.So although hes not brad pitt,hes got a fair bit working in his favour that many dont.
            And frankly the girls who warmed up to him werent anything to write home about.
            If it means putting on all that bravado to make a spectacle out of yourself in order to get laid,well your plain better off going without…..

          • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede

            Tyler (Owen Cook) is 5’8″ tall and he was a monster dork when he was in high school. He did not get laid until he was into his 20’s.

            He is smart and witty, but that proves my point that personality matters more than looks.

            If getting laid doesn’t matter to you that much, then keep on acting like a shy insecure guy.

          • pianodan marks

            I am shy and insecure, as such any attempt to act otherwise is futile. You cannot disguise or veil shyness. Putting yourself “out there” may not be too good at overcoming shyness either. Often it does as much harm as good.I remain sceptical that shyness is even a treatable condition,despite the shrink communitys claims to the contrary.
            At best you might make modest improvements after 10 or 20 years of treatment,by which time its too late to bother with women anyways.

          • pianodan marks

            And the truth is what you think has no effect on whether someone finds you attractive.If you seriously think beleiving you have what your prospective partner wants will result in them actually wanting you, then you best be backing off the crystal meth.I mean, seriously, put that glass pipe away…….

          • Honorable1

            I used to be shy and the trick that worked for me is, fake it, pretend, act, fake it so long until you believe it yourself, until you forget you were shy in the first place.
            I am 6’0 285 lbs, I am fat…. but every time i in a new situation (job, etc.) i find the hottest girl there and start with her. And not to sound cocky but every girl i have dated would be a 10 to everyone else. When i talk to a girl, I don’t even think about what I look like cause honestly it doesn’t matter.
            So you think what if i get rejected? Well then you just got rejected by the hottest girl in the place, which is way better then getting rejected by the ugliest girl in the place.
            Also its like applying for a job, if you really want a good job you have to put yourself out there,
            You will get rejected, everyone does, you have to roll with the punches. Nothing gained easily is worth having.

    • Anthony

      Most people know that.
      Only dudes who are in denial, or are trying to sell (doesn’t have to be a product, could be an agenda) you something say different.

  • john smith

    i believe the strongest proof of this is serge gainsbourg he was rather unatractive and yet he slept with the most beautiful women of france such as bridget bardot or jene birkin and you cant say they loved his money since those women were already rich and famous getting a good looking man for them wouldnt be a slightest problem but they chose him, why? because he was self-confident and incredably charismatic. sure looks help, they help a lot but they do not decide anything.

  • Lane Gonzalez

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    I had had exactly the same feelings, then a GOOD friend of mine recommended me the link and now I am a completely different person, talking with women with great confidence, knowing very well how and what to talk with positive results. I highly recommend it.

  • restv

    Delusional garbage.

    • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede
    • Y

      Yes. Charismatic, confident men who are physically unattractive or even ugly truly are disadvantaged when it comes to women. This article accurately assesses the importance of masculine confidence, but confidence is only part of the complex equation of female attraction to men. Since women are human beings, they are also visually stimulated by others. Heterosexual women are visually stimulated by and sexually attracted to beautiful men, but what exactly constitutes masculine beauty is different from woman to woman, as beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This is the nuanced distinction that is missing from this article – women interpret masculine physical beauty in different ways according to individuated standards, but that male beauty is a crucial component of female attraction to men is irrefutable. Some women believe that Joseph Gordon-Levitt is drop-dead gorgeous, some do not. Some women believe Adam Driver is hideous, some do not. This is to be expect once one acknowledges the reality that men’s physical appearance matters to women; standards of beauty of course differ from woman to woman, but the crucial point that needs to be grasped among this diversity is that the concept of male beauty actually exists among women, and that it feeds into sexual desire and general attraction. As women become more financially independent and empowered, they will continually place themselves in a position where they can be more honest with themselves and with others about what kind of masculine beauty produces raw, sexual attraction in them, and they will also be in a position to not settle for less than what they actually desire. Many women will of course not be able to enter relationships with the men they consider the most physically beautiful, but the fact remains that the desire for those men still remains, regardless of what women actually articulate in defensive posturings.

      • Anthony

        All that needs to be said in one post has been said.
        You can simplify something that’s not so simple, plus to be honest most women aren’t going to give you an honest answer because of the way she will be perceived whereas men are sort of lumped together and expected to say they want somebody they find attractive.

  • John Gentile

    this is such a joke of an article. money and looks are all that matters. you can parade yourself around with all the confidence in the world but if you look ugly the only thing the women around you are gonna do is laugh and say” “who does he think he is!” lets get real. its heartless but that’s the way men and women are. heartless….

    • Y

      I completely agree. Charismatic, confident men who are physically unattractive or even ugly truly are disadvantaged when it comes to women. This article accurately assesses the importance of masculine confidence, but confidence is only part of the complex equation of female attraction to men. Since women are human beings, they are also visually stimulated by others. Heterosexual women are visually stimulated by and sexually attracted to beautiful men, but what exactly constitutes masculine beauty is different from woman to woman, as beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This is the nuanced distinction that is missing from this article – women interpret masculine physical beauty in different ways according to individuated standards, but that male beauty is a crucial component of female attraction to men is irrefutable. Some women believe that Joseph Gordon-Levitt is drop-dead gorgeous, some do not. Some women believe Adam Driver is hideous, some do not. This is to be expect once one acknowledges the reality that men’s physical appearance matters to women; standards of beauty of course differ from woman to woman, but the crucial point that needs to be grasped among this diversity is that the concept of male beauty actually exists among women, and that it feeds into sexual desire and general attraction. As women become more financially independent and empowered, they will continually place themselves in a position where they can be more honest with themselves and with others about what kind of masculine beauty produces raw, sexual attraction in them, and they will also be in a position to not settle for less than what they actually desire. Many women will of course not be able to enter relationships with the men they consider the most physically beautiful, but the fact remains that the desire for those men still remains, regardless of what women actually articulate in defensive posturings.

      • Jeff

        Good points, Y. Something tells me that the one who voted your comment down is an ugly man. I’m not the best-looking guy, but I still clean up pretty good. I know full well that the way I look helps me with women, but obviously some men are not that blessed.

    • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede
    • Joe

      I don’t care how much “confidence ” you have if you are unattractive women will not give you the time if day. Period

  • Sarah

    Girls don’t sleep with guys on dates because girls are taught not to. See it from a girl’s perspective – if she sleeps with you, you might end up being a crazed attacker, you might expect a relationship or you might start stalking her. And her friends and family might call her a whore for ‘sleeping around’. It’s not so easy for women as it is for men. It’s not because she’s not attracted to a man’s looks. It’s because men come with too much drama to make a mistake – so she has to more selective.

    • Sven

      I was thinking the same thing as I read this article. I’m guessing the author lives in a big city where sexual boundaries are a lot more loose then in small-town USA. Most small-town girls have a similar perspective as to what you just commented, and maybe some small-town guys too. I wouldn’t expect to sleep with a girl on the first date, most girls I go with will make me wait till we are going steady. If she slept with me on the first date, she’d be “cashing in all her chips before seeing the flop”. I am really confident and good enough looking to date most any girl I want, but I don’t just date them for sex and I treat them with respect – which coincidentally makes them want to sleep with me even more. Maybe I am an oddball because I prefer to have a relationship instead of no-strings sex.

  • ian

    Yup, you can b et your life savings,……. ive been a model, i was (not now imin my mid 30s) the slimmest most attractive man werever i went, school, uni, clubs, on the train, i was very very good looking, know how many women i had ? ? ?? 1 prostitute that i payed for !!!! its a terrable shame im the biggest wimp on the plannet hahahah, oh well gotta learrn to live with being single forever i guess 1 !

    • J23A

      How can you be the most attractive guy in the room and not get any? Why the low confidence?

    • Daniel Lewis

      If you are so attractive, then why no picture???
      Bullshit.

    • Red Martian

      I thought when liked lean muscular guys. Not stick thin ones.

  • Jefferson

    “If you stripped Hefner of his wealth, he’d still be dating 27 year olds.”

    Yeah because there are plenty of broke 87 year old men living just off of their social security that are dating women young enough to their granddaughters

  • john doe

    this is the dumbest shit I ever heard, women 100% want money, every empirical study examining the matter has found this. 99%+ of marriages are of a woman to a richer man, the only other marriages are where both are very wealthy and a few million doesn’t matter. Women do not care about personality or love or your body or your confidence, only your money and ability to get more. Read buss 1989, 50 cultures covering some 5 billion people, finding women only want money, other factors account for almost nothing

    • Joe

      You are dead on on Joe. If you’re tall you have a fighting chance. If not hello to a lot of lonely evenings no matter how much game you have.

  • Daniel Lewis

    I’m a very good looking guy, and I can tell you: this is utter bullshit. Money, and the appearance of money, get you a girlfriend. Period. I used to sleep with a lot of married women, but would they ever date someone like me? No, of course not. Money is what it comes down to. One woman in particular, a very attractive redhead who was a pediatric surgeon- married to an architect— loved fucking me, but she would not thinking of leaving her short, bald, small dicked husband. I’m good enough to bed, but not good enough to date.

    • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede

      I can see some issues in your statement, so I ask you to remain open to criticism.

      1. Why are you sleeping with a lot of married women? If I find out a woman I’m interested in is married, I wouldn’t try to sleep with her. If I was looking for a relationship, I would ignore her and move on to a woman that is emotionally available.

      The fact that you are seeking out married women is a sign that YOU are not an emotionally available person. You’re going after women who you instinctively know are not emotionally available. That’s great for a fling, but it’s hardly surprising they don’t want to dump their husbands for you.

      2. You seem to think that money is all important, while others on here seem to think looks are all important. You just proved my main point that looks don’t matter. Hot pediatric surgeon married to a short bald man.

      3. I doubt money is the reason she remains with the short bald guy. If she is a pediatric surgeon, do you think she would struggle to make it on her own? She could divorce him, take half the property and probably hose him for alimony to boot. The median salary for a pediatric surgeon is $388,000 a year, not including benefits or bonuses. I have a really hard time believing that she’s staying with this guy because of the money.

      She is staying with the guy because he’s emotionally available, and she’s using you as her boy-toy because of your body. You’re like a living dildo to her.

    • Aaron David

      thats sad that you cant get a girl to love you man. even if you were good looking maybe you need some wisdom to get love

    • Red Martian

      Somebody’s been reading too many erotic novels.

    • mark

      I have been sleeping with two married women, I was very regert about it because a real man would respect the people. I learned from mistakes and move on. I see you treat women like dirt which you don’t need to because they are humans like us. Good luck for stay as single for life because of your attitudes which women will not want you.

  • Steve Chan

    It depends on what kind of handsome you are. Are you like “hunky” handsome, “metrosexual” handsome (looks like a gay man), “charismatic and mature” handsome (which is the most attractive to girls I think). Since you said you’re once mistaken as a gay guy, I think you fall into the second category. Sorry, most girls don’t find this look attractive.
    I think for women being attracted to a guy is a combination of factors: looks, personality, chemistry, financial background, interesting job. If she’s serious about long -term relationships, you have to score on all those things with her. I don’t think most women (or most people) would get into a relationship SOLELY because of one dominant factor unless they are pyschos

  • A4SkyhawkScooter

    Actually, when it comes to getting a relationship off the ground to begin with, looks do matter, personality does not. Science had been telling us this for decades: http://facts.randomhistory.com/human-attraction-facts.html

    “A landmark study in 1966 by the University of Minnesota–Minneapolis
    gathered a group of 664 student volunteers. The study showed that there
    was little or no difference between introverted and extroverted
    personalities when it came to being liked by a date. In other words,
    young college adults were primarily concerned about the physical
    attractiveness of their date.”

    • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede

      You are exhibiting what is called “selection bias” in your argument.

      You have presupposed some outcome and are finding evidence to support that outcome to the exclusion of other evidence.

      I’ve never argued that looks don’t make a difference, just that they are not the most important thing. Being good looking guy can get you laid, but being ugly with the right personality will also get you laid.

      From that same page you just linked, it notes:

      “Women are more likely to judge a man to be more attractive when they see another woman looking and smiling at him. For a male, the same man becomes less attractive.”

      As a side note, I have a 38 year old short little Asian friend who just picked up a 22 year old hottie the other day. He was dating a 24 year old model prior to that (taller than him too). He dumped her when she started demanding kids and marriage.

      • A4SkyhawkScooter

        Not at all, you’re the one engaging in red herrings. Other women smiling at him creates an artificial halo effect, and if there’s a lack of attractiveness, no woman’s going to smile at him unless he has money. Keep inventing your imaginary friends and spewing more excuses to justify the thousands you’re undoubtedly wasted on pick-up.

        For those of you who aren’t delusional, I highly recommend you watch FACEandLMS’s videos on YouTube.

        • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede

          It’s not artificial if it gets you laid.

          It’s like you’re trying to convince me the sky is green when I can clearly see with my own two eyes that it is blue.

          I see ugly guys with hot women ALL THE TIME. I see poor guys with hot women ALL THE TIME. I see it every damn day!

          You’re a pretty remarkable fellow to be able to ignore everything that’s in plain view every day. Do you live in a cave? Do you go out at all?

          • A4SkyhawkScooter

            How does getting laid make something natural? Do you even look at what you write?

            Ever heard of Looks Money Status? That’s what governs initial attraction of a woman to a man, and without initial attraction, the relationship doesn’t get started to begin with. Lack of looks can be compensated for with money and status. Due to the halo effect, for women “personality” and “confidence” are inevitably the result of a man’s attractiveness.

            I do go out once a week, while you sit in your mother’s basement making imaginary friends to delude yourself into thinking that you can escape your virginity.

          • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede

            So you think it’s simply impossible that I have a short Asian friend who dates models; therefore, I must be making my story up?

            LOL

            Hey man, if you want to believe that you can’t get a girl unless you look good and have money, keep on with your bad self.

          • pianodan marks

            Hmm,u see poor guys all the time with hot women? None of the men depicted on your links are poor. None of the older celebrities you see with much younger women are poor.
            And since u dont have a taste for men,how would you even know if they were good looking or not? Its like having a beer only drinker judge wines for quality.

      • pianodan marks

        Just because your friends Asian, doesnt mean hes not good looking.Are you implying that all Asians are ugly? And height is far from the main determiner of physical attractiveness. Being short doesnt mean your not good looking.
        You failed to make a point.And dude, I can assure you 99+ % of 22 year olds would request payment in one form or another to go out with a 38 year old.

    • Red Martian

      Here’s the offender! Click on the link the poster provides. Now scroll to the very bottom of the page where the article cites its sources. Notice that Cosmopolitan is the first one cited.

      That says enough on it’s own I think but I’ll go ahead and call BS just the same. I don’t agree with Suede’s argument but neither will I side with Cosmopolitan.

      • A4SkyhawkScooter

        Nice try, but my citation didn’t use Cosmo. It used a book.

        • San Diego Clipper

          a Kapp, Cassandra. “10 Things You Don’t Know about Attraction.” Cosmopolitan. 2012. Accessed: May 12, 2012.

          Look familiar to you? No? It’s the first source cited in by the webpage you cited.

          • A4SkyhawkScooter

            Wrong again. My citation cited “Patzer, Gordon L., Ph.D. 2008. Looks: Why They Matter More Than You Ever Imagined. New York, NY: Amacom.”

  • hxcp

    “I’ve never – ever – had a good looking girl throw herself at me”

    Hot girls don’t throw themselves at anyone. They don’t need to. This should be common sense.

    “If all women really cared about was looks, why didn’t I get laid on all my dates?”

    Sorry champ but you aren’t as good looking as you think.

    “A super good looking guy isn’t going to get laid if he’s not confident AND arousing. Confident and arousing = attractive to a woman. An ugly guy who is confident and arousing will be VASTLY more successful with women than a hot guy who fails to be confident and arousing.”

    . You can mentally masturbate over a theoretical case of a hot guy who is a complete asperger case (hint: this doesn’t exist, attractive people are positively reinforced lifelong and love being themselves) but at the end of the day, so long as both guys put in equal amounts of effort to interact and date women, are socially normal and have equal money and status, the good looking guy will be more successful than the ugly guy

    ” My looks aren’t the issue, otherwise she never would have agreed to date me in the first place”

    She could be looking for a free meal or is on the fence about you and see how good you look in motion.

    “That is to say, if a man believes women find him unattractive, he will be unattractive”

    No truly, objectively attractive guy will believe they are unattractive in the first place. People know deep down how attractive they are and what league to lay in. Useless, false jargon. Even if Brad Pitt thought he was unattractive, he will still be attractive provided he acted like a normal human being. The statement is a logical fallacy.

    “Most guys assume this girl married Hugh Hefner for his money, but I highly doubt that.”

    Stopped reading there. That is enough for today. Fail article

    and lol at that chart at the end. Many women on dating sites are boyfriend hunters and ex carousellers who are “tired of games and players” and are looking for income and stability.

    • A4SkyhawkScooter

      Just to add to hxcp, the logical fallacy in question is the argumentum ad consequentiam fallacy.

    • incel

      excellent

    • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede

      I see there is a whole little troop of you clowns that hate the idea of ugly guys getting laid for some reason.

    • Red Martian

      Oops. Wrong guy.

    • Aaron Bennett

      I disagree. I am a very attractive guy and I have mental issues, and social issues. I’ve done modeling in the past, am 6′ tall, toned, in great shape. I’m also a chem and math major, so I’m hot and intelligent, yet I have trouble getting a girl, though honestly, college is more important at the moment.

      I’ve always had social issues, but when I am in the mood and relaxed, I can hit on a lot of girls with pretty positive results, though nothing seems to ever come of it.

      I guess some of it is I am a nomadic minimalist, and have no urges to settle down, and I hate owning stuff.

      • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede

        You’re not alone. Social awkwardness is common among highly logical people. Dating seminars are often packed with engineers and IT people.

        Try this next time you hit on a girl.. get your hands on her. Don’t grab her ass or anything, but you need to get your hands on them and remember the purpose of what you’re trying to communicate “I want to bang your brains out.”

        Just keep touching. Touching is at least 50% of the game. I’ve seen guys pull girls and barely say a word to them. Body language and physical contact can be so powerful you barely have to talk.

        If it seems really awkward at first because you’re touching some girl you barely know in a suggestive way, that’s because it is. Just work through it. Keep doing it. Don’t stop until she tells you to knock it off or walks away. If she’s still standing there, assume she’s enjoying it.

        Confident men just assume women want them to touch and talk to them. They don’t ask, they just do. And if you get shot down or called a perv, so what? Chances are you’ll never see her again anyways.

        • pianodan marks

          So, let me check if im understanding you. Hot women actually want anonymous men who are not stylish or good looking to just walk up to them in a club and start caressing their nether regions out of the blue?
          Are you sure they won,t slap you across the face?What about all the other guys that are gonna wanna punch you out cos they interperet that as you harassing some girl who,at least ostensibly, you would have no chance with.

  • yesica

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  • Pingback: Are Libertarian Males A Bunch Of Pussies? | Libertarian News()

  • Been There

    Relax. Start with a little mild conversation, a little humor( not tasteless jokes or comments.) If you make people feel relaxed and comfortable being around you, the rest will happen in it’s own time. Try not to have the I want to hump your leg look on your face…They see that. Ask them genuine questions and listen to their answer with genuine interest. You are already you…you know you…get to know them. Don’t touch them until the invitation is extended and if they want you to, you will know. Give them your attention, don’t talk on your phone or study other women as they walk by – I suppose that’s known without saying. Show them that you are genuine not desperate (that’s creepy). Your conversation should not be about past relationships…yesterday gets old, tomorrow is what people are interested in. Be positive, not boastful. Leave the dirty laundry at home not on a first meeting. Just give them a small taste of who you are, not the full bowl. People are like spaghetti, too much and you don’t want to see it again for a good long while. I think at a certain age, people start to look for something a little more meaningful than they did at 18 or 20. Be yourself, don’t try too hard. Act like a man not a boy. Be a gentleman and try making someone other than yourself the center of the universe and good things will come. Don’t show her your fancy watch or your pinky ring, don’t talk about your clothes or your shoes…she can have those conversations with her girlfriends. Cool never works for those that try too hard…be yourself.

  • yesica

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  • Lisa

    Haha your wrong, we objectify men and looks matter a lot. Just saying.

    • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede

      According to the data, ON AVERAGE women are much less concerned about looks than men. That’s not to say they don’t appreciate good looks, just not the way men do.

      When we are talking about aggregates, like “all women,” there are going to be plenty of exceptions. Do you know any good looking girls who have dated some ugly looking guys? I bet you do.

  • Red Martian

    I don’t think you can generalize people to the point the you can say looks are or aren’t important to them. As for the confidence bit I haven’t seen it work with my own two eyes; although I enjoy watching people fail with it (just for the laughs)

    • San Diego Clipper

      Looks definitely matter but vary by individual. If a girl is just out for a fling she’s going for the hottest person she can get, but if the woman is looking for a long term relationship she’s gonna be looking beyond appearance.

      I agree with you on confidence however. All the confidence in the world won’t make a difference if the woman is turned off by your looks.

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  • anonymous

    This is the biggest load of horse shit i have ever read. women care about looks and NOTHING else.

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  • scrapper

    Odds are you’re rating yourself as considerably more attractive than you really are and that explains your lack of success with women. For some reason, guys can never admit that they’re ugly. My brother’s friend, for example, is an objective 2, but the other day he announced that he is good looking (in the context of a conversation about why he will succeed in politics). Like you, he also complains about his lack of success with women, but is in denial about his homeliness being the cause.

    To answer your question, yes, men’s looks do matter. The problem is that men put such little effort into their appearance that few of them stand out as good looking. Women are then forced to rate you on factors other than your appearance. As a bisexual woman, I find men’s refusal to do anything to look good to be obnoxious. There are far more attractive women than their are attractive men, but if you took away the makeup, grooming, body hair shaving, etc, women and men would be about equally attractive.

    In summary: 1) no, you are not good looking, you’re just delusional like many guys who do poorly with women; and 2) if men would make more effort to look good, then perhaps there’d be enough attractive guys for appearance to become a larger factors in women’s mate selection process.

    • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede

      Are you addressing me, the author of the article?

      1. All of my girlfriends have been outrageously hot.

      2. I don’t have a problem dating good looking women.

      3. Unless you’ve seen my videos, how could you even know what I look like? How could you judge my looks without ever seeing me?

      • scrapper

        Why yes, I am addressing you, who else could I possibly be talking to? Also, no, you do not date good looking women. You’ve already proven yourself to be a delusional narcissist. Also, if you consider grooming “separate issues apart from the body and face” you’re doing it wrong.

        • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede

          You should get a job as a psychic. I’ve never met someone who can judge people’s looks without seeing them before. That’s a pretty neat trick.

          In reality, you’re proving my point for me. You’re judging me NOT based on my looks, but on my attitude. The angrier you get, the more you prove my point.

      • San Diego Clipper

        What an effing joke! “All of my girlfriends have been outrageously hot.” You sound like a juvenile bragging in middle school; one that may never have even touched a girl.

      • pianodan marks

        All your gf,s were outrageously hot?
        ,fraid not.
        Is this a self help article or a shit talkers forum?Where,s the pictures of them?
        This article is more laden with rot than i first cared to imagine.

  • Lana

    Have you ever considered women don’t want to have sex with a guy they don’t see a future with? Why are you assuming the purpose of dating is to have sex? Women date to get married and have babies (duh). So that explains why you’re not getting laid. And of course looks matter. Dating is like a staircase. Looks are the first stair and then personality is the second. So looks will get you that first date, but personality gets you the second one. Furthermore, if a guy tried stroking my thigh within 30 minutes of meeting me, I’d be out the door in a flash.

    • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede

      Who said I’m not getting laid?

      Each person is different. Most women, if they meet the “right” guy, will make out with him in under an hour. I have plenty of first hand experience with this.

      But thanks for supporting my assertions. Looks are just one tiny step that can easily be overcome. That’s not how it works with men. Men see a hot girl and immediately want to have sex with her, regardless of what her personality is like. She could be the biggest bitch in the world and it wouldn’t make a bit of difference.

      Personality is key.

  • k6

    Men are total idots and this article proves it. Ever wonder why so many women are moving towards women? Guys are Broken X’s. Lesser of the two sexes…females are the default…ugh. The bullet points are hysterical…any woman that responds to that…well a female wouldn’t. Pathetic little man twits.

    • k6

      Oops, I thought that was my inside voice. Men are wonderful and all your bullet points sound great! Sounds great, lets do it!

  • AK887

    Ugly guys / Average looking guys can pull girls that are out of their league using game, but that is usually girls that are looking for a rebound and wanting to f*** anything that moves at that stage in their life. They are looking for attention. Once they start feeling good about themselves they will go find somebody that is more in their league.

  • Seriously Speaking

    It is the ugliest men today that do have the beautiful women, especially when they have a lot of money.

  • Seriously Speaking

    Most of the ugliest men nowadays have the beautiful women. Then again, women love men with money too.

  • dahszil

    in laissez faire capitalism the number one priority is if a guy has got lots of money. sad but true

  • Joe

    This article is BS. It’s not that looks are not important to women. It’s more that you have to be good looking PLUS have a bunch of other qualities. This is a bad thing. If women just relied on looks, then all of the good looking guys would get the girls and the rest of us would just learn to be happy not getting women.

    Do looks matter? Of course. I’m a short guy (height is part of looks). How can you tell me, as a tall guy, that this does not matter to women? From my observation, height is the most important thing to women. Women hate short guys and they also hate ugly guys. Sorry man, but you don’t know how it feels to be either of them.

    Sure, some girls will give us a chance here and there, but we literally have to be perfect to get a girl. I’m not perfect so that’s that.

    • Joe

      I couldn’t agree with you more Joe. If you’re tall you at least have a fighting chance even if you are ugly

    • J

      I know I’m short as well (plus I’m asian), but this article is to improve confidence regardless of your looks. I’m pretty shy myself and need to overcome that. Use the skills that you know that have worked for you, you’d be surprised what kind of girls will be attracted to you. For example, I had a crush on a really hot girl in high school one time and she tripped on something and fell down, I helped her up and comforted her to make sure she was alright. The next day, she became really friendly and wanted to get really close to me and everything, unfortunately I chickened out and didn’t go any further, that’s one way to get noticed. I also got noticed when I would play with my guitar in a local band.

  • Quality, bitchez, not quantity

    BAAAHAHAHAHAHA I call bullshit – hardcore. I have looks, style, fighting ability, I’m fiercely intelligent and I’m extremely confident with phenomenal social skills. (Zero fucks given if that sounds arrogant, I work very hard on further bettering myself every day)

    That said, I’ve pulled very few girls in my time, regardless of all of the aforementioned, and being trained in hip-hop and bboy style dance. What’s the reason? 5’3. I’m secure, but don’t bullshit and say it doesn’t matter, ’cause to every one of you shallow idiots out there, it DOES matter.

    Stupid ass article, uneducated person. Sayin’ it how it is.

    (btw, I’ve seen tall guys with no sense of humour, no confidence and no intelligence pick up hot girls easily, and I’ve seen it a lot so again, please stop with the bullshit)

    • pianodan marks

      I always wandered, if picking up was about personality, why I get along superbly with absolutely everyone I come into contact with,have so many friends that I have no time to even see most of them and just generally have a smacking old time getting people to like me, yet when it comes to approaching anyone for sex or romance, suddenly all the smiles are withheld, eye contact is avoided ( not by me,but by them). On dating sites they love me and my personality when someone elses picture is on the profile,but if I put my picture, its all about the sound of crickets chirping.I would bet 1 million cash in hand that no person could get a reply from any 5 or over girl on a dating site,provided my picture was on there.Tried for 15 years, not even a nibble.In 15 years never even got a reply from a 4 out of 10.Im sorry folks, but optimism or otherwise,it aint happening.Maybe approaching women in real life is completely different from online,but my guess is that if they dont want a bar of you online,why would they change their mind when they see you face to face?
      If you even so much as look towards attractive women,they instantly avert their gaze to avoid yours, maintaining a fairly unimpressed look on their face.Somehow I dont think being confident can override the fact that its over in the first 1 second of them even looking at you…

      • John

        Dude, online dating doesn’t really work the way you think it should work. It’s a good tool, that’s all I see at as, I gave up taking online dating too seriously. You’re right, if you’re not the ideal physical type, you will just look like the run of the mill type of guy and not stand out. I know what you’re talking about with wanting to catch really hot women’s eye, I’ve done the same thing and I failed (even though I have a nice looking face). Obviously, there’s more of a challenge if you’re not good looking (and I’m an short asian guy btw), but it’s not the end of the world, if you really stand out, like do a magic trick, play an instrument, or saying sarcastic funny things etc etc, your looks won’t matter at all.

        • pianodan marks

          Beleive me dude, the looks are gonna matter. Go play an instument.I do, but do girls find me attractive because of it? no. I say funny things. Still no secret admirers???? My house is paid off.Ill even scrub the floors and do the dishes while she goes shopping.Theres no girls knocking on my door.Where are the women you say will be so attracted to me because looks dont matter????

  • pianodan marks

    At the end of the day, girls are stupid.The biggest reason for anyone not picking up is that theyre a decent guy. Girls Dont get attracted to polite,decent guys.They are attracted to obnoxious,foul mouthed and abusive men.I know a guy who has 8 inches of ass crack showing above his belt, doesnt even wipe that clean after taking a shit.Hes about as dumb as it gets, smokes more weed than even a mexican drug cartel could supply.Hes foul mouthed, abusive, fat and in shithouse shape.Yet girls like him.
    So there you have it,if your a decent guy,you need to forget about women, cos rest assured they wont want you. Do yourself a huge favour and stay single.Sex is hugely overrated and men and women have nothing in common and so dont make for good friends either

    • John

      Very pessimistic view sir. Wanting or having sex is not a bad thing, that’s normal human behavior and I don’t think picking up women is just about being obnoxious. There needs to be a balance, and no girl is going to turn down a decent guy but if you’re boring, why would any girl or guy for that matter would want to hang out?

      • pianodan marks

        Normal behaviour or not, it,s overrated.big time.Batting off wins hands down.A womans vagina doesn,t do even half as good a job as my hand……..
        Frankly the times i had sex it was rubbish.wouldn,t waste a minute of my life looking for it again.

  • John

    Yeah, great article, I’ve actually learned a lot from reading this. I’m a short asian guy, and I’m pretty shy, but I totally get where you’re coming from, and the youtube video really does make sense. I’ve hung around with pessimistic people, and stopped hanging around with him, he was really irritating.

  • Brenden Kaemmer

    Here’s the huge PROBLEM in all of you negative people’s assumptions:

    You people think that game is even about something fancy. You think that game is hard. You think that looks matter because you see handsome men get women without doing shit.

    Here’s Why: Those handsome men know they are handsome, and project that. They don’t need fancy game. They just walk up to girls, talk about relationships and sex and see where it goes. Its very very easy. Its all about connection and seduction. You don’t need mountains of confidence or lines to seduce a girl, you just need isolation, connection, and set a sexual frame. The value of the interaction is true human connection, and if you’re aiming for anything other than that, you’re going to end up VERY unhappy and confused. If she doesn’t like it, it wasn’t meant to be and all the worrying about your looks in the world won’t make a difference.

    But, there are two sides to this:

    Heres another Truth: Women are HYPERGAMOUS. that means they will always seek a mate that fulfills their evolutionary needs of security, leadership, and masculinity. Yes, women are attracted to money and looks because they are reflective of the most important things about a man: The decisions he makes on a daily basis that builds into a process that keeps him healthy, social, happy, and wealthy. The most attractive thing to most women is that a man would make an incredible FATHER. DUH. These are things you should be doing whether women like them or not. Stay clean, stay in shape, and you’re good.

    • pianodan marks

      You said the most attractive thing to a woman is that a man would make a incredible Father.I’ve been told MANY times before I would make a great father, yet still i do not attract women?
      And in your example you said a man doesn’t need mountains of confidence or lines to seduce a girl, but you said in the same paragraph that good looking guys pick up because they know they are good looking and that is what produces their confidence and makes it an easy process. So what you essentially said is that confidence is required to pick up, and that confidence is obtained by possession of elite qualities or traits,such as good looks.
      And you are right that women are attracted to masculinity,leadership etc. Do you understand that masculinity has a genetic origin? More mascculine men are that way do to the genes they inherit.Even assertiveness and leadership skills have a strong genetic component. So even if looks arent the whole picture, the other factors that are gonna help you out are beyond your control anyway.So your screwed either way. I can try to be leader of the pack or outgoing and assertive to attract women, but it just doesnt work that way. That is not the character I have inherited and nothing I or anyone else do will change that.We are no more in charge of personality than we are of looks.We inherit the personality that our genes and childhood gave us.You cant become a new person in adulthood, because this is just not the way the human brain and life cycle operate.Many of the formative processes that made us who and what we are cannot be repeated in adult hood,under any circumstances.This is evidenced by the fact that decades of experimenting with “brainwashing” has shown that you cannot permanently alter a human beings core beleif system with any known process.You cannot “brainwash” a human no matter what you subject them to.They return without exception to the core personality and beleif system that had prior to brainwashing, albeit often somewhat impaired…….

  • whatever

    congrats everyone sees the light of things… whilst many others seem to be inspired by women, none of them have any interest or could even be bothered to date me. I act myself, stay cool, and why is it desperation to have a girlfriend? I am sick and tired of being alone for four freaking years, whilst im in my thirties why is it bad to find someone or some companionship???? I dont get this whole crap, or maybe it’s just bad luck….. The only thing I do great is teach women how to act in relationships… they make mistakes on my expense and finally learn how to behave and settle down…. love it… :D

    • pianodan marks

      why do you need companionship? you already have it.Im sure you have friends and associates who can offer better companionship that a ” relationship”.people confuse romance for companionship.they are 2 different things.Trust me,the regular friends you already have or even a dog are gonna give you better companionship than a “partner”

  • pianodan marks

    I just proved yet again that looks trump any and all other qualities.I made two profiles on a dating site,one my picture, the other a good looking guy.I managed to get a response to both profiles from a “target” and kept replying regularly from both profiles to this “target” profile(who is only a 6 out of 10 BTW).The profile with my picture indicated I was wealthy, educated and a fabulous guy.The other profile was just very basic with v littel detail.I actually established I had quite a bit in common with this target individual,offered to give a professional massage to their sore back,they declined.Offered to play them a song on the piano, they declined.Yet the good looking guy was able to extract a ph. number without delay, despite having established no common interests or even having really discussed a single thing about each others lives.Virtually without even having spoken the good looker had it signed, sealed and delivered.Yet even with a full gamut of excellent credentials ,and having actually spoken and communicated at length, the target individual flatly refused any contact outside of the dating site with a less attractive guy (me)
    I have seen this occur every time without fail that a good and bad looking guy are compared.I have proven over decades that there is simply no way whatsoever decent looking individuals will date ugly men.They go for better lookers every single time without question.

  • Marcus

    Lol, how can you possibly say imply that confidence makes any difference? Let me break it down to you like this:

    Two girls are in a club, and a handsome guy, 6 ft with a decent physic, asks to buy her a drink. She’ll be all over him in a matter of seconds. Now let’s say somebody who isn’t so handsome. Has a slight gut, not so great on the looks, but displays the same amount of confidence the handsome guy has shown. She’ll turn him down in an instant and probably go on her little social media account putting “ew almost got raped by a creep” or something. Confidence makes no difference. Lying to yourself just makes you a laughing stock to women, it doesn’t make you attractive. I’ll break it down to you in another way if you think I am being delusional. If a guy is tall, handsome or has a good body but at the same time he is totally shy and has no confidence, girls will deem him as a cute guy, a soft teddy bear. An average/below average guy that has no decent body who has the same attitude as the one just described, women will just deem him as a loser that simply has no hope and might as well hire a prostitute or something. The only thing that matters in your personality is if you’re a total a**hole, and even then your looks play a part in that, because if you’re an underaverage guy who is an a**hole, you’re basically at Adolf Hitler status of being hated, but if you were a looker, it would be hilarious to them. This article is just a bunch of cliche’s mixed together that tell people what they wish was true.

    • Michael Suede

      Perhaps you didn’t see the video.

      • hammer time

        The article is cods wallop.Like I said you cant change personality any more than you can looks. In fact some would say its even harder to change personality than looks.So either way, nothing you do is gonna change your appeal to women.Either you attract them naturally, or you don’t. The guy on that video isnt even ugly, plus we dont know if he slipped the girls date rape drugs, or if they were paid off for doing it….

        • Michael Suede

          LOL

          I love the comments on here.

  • letmepostalready

    so women dont give a crap about their own personal desires? They have no dream guy? They are attracted to nothing? They simply cater to what a man thinks he deserves? Bob is short, fat, ugly and confident and thinks he deserves Jane. Jane puts aside all her personal tastes in men and must be with Bob cause Bob deserves it? Are women really that pathetic?