This article continues to be one of the most popular posts on this web site nearly a year after I wrote it. Today, 9/29/2014, I’ve decided to update it. See this post for a huge collection of related seminars and self-help instructors.
All issues men have in relation to attracting women can be boiled down to one phrase.
The bottom line is this gentlemen. If you don’t think you’re worthy of the girl you’re hitting on, she isn’t going to find you worthy of dating.
If you don’t believe your own value as a human being and potential partner are worth more than her’s, then you’re basically begging her to do you the favor of dating you. Women aren’t into charity when it comes to dating.
If you say, “a woman would never date me because I’m fat.” Then you’re right, she won’t. Not particularly because you’re fat, but because you don’t think she wants to date fat men. Which means you’re automatically assuming your value is less than hers. Which means you perceive your own worth as being less than hers.
If you say, “a woman would never date me because I’m a short balding Asian man.” Then you’re right, she won’t. Why should she? Why should she date a guy who doesn’t believe he’s worthy of her? There’s no way it will ever happen.
The very fact you’re reading this article tells me you have self-worth issues. How did you end up on this page? What were you looking for? Were you looking for validation of what you already believe? Are you looking for me to tell you that being ugly is what’s stopping you from getting a date?
Imagine this scenario. You see the hottest girl you’ve ever seen in your life standing in the produce isle of your local supermarket. Are you afraid to hit on her? Do you see yourself getting shot down brutally, so why even bother? Because if you do, then you shouldn’t bother, because it’s never going to work. You’ll just act like a terrified dork, which might be endearing but definitely not sex worthy. If you’re just trying to be her friend, then that’s all you’ll ever be.
The only thing that matters is self-worth. Big fat ugly guys date hot women. Short balding Asians date hot women. And sometimes good looking GQ models end up marrying fatties. Why? Because some guys value themselves highly and some don’t. Women never trade down when it comes to value. They only date men whose value is higher than their own.
The beautiful and terrible thing about this is that the value women judge you on has very little to do with anything that is external to yourself. Sure, being rich helps, being good looking helps, being tall helps, having a full head of hair helps, etc.. etc.. etc.. But you could have all these things and still fail when it comes to dating if you don’t perceive your own value as being higher than the girl you’re hitting on.
There should be no anxiety when approaching a girl for a date. Anxiety comes from caring about the outcome. And that’s only an issue if you perceive her opinion to actually be worth something – but it’s not.
Her opinion is worth shit. It doesn’t mean shit. Her opinion has the value of a five year old’s. In reality, it doesn’t matter if she thinks you’re a big fat pile of shit or God’s gift to women. What she gonna do? Why should you care what she thinks about you? If you care what she thinks, you’re already ascribing wayyyy too much unearned value to her. She hasn’t earned the right for you to care what she thinks about you yet. Being hot doesn’t make her opinion worth more than a can of beans.
Your a fucking man for Christ sake. Act like. Walk up assuming she’s an airhead bimbo and the purpose of your interacting with her is tease her with the opportunity of dating someone who is clearly way out of her league. It doesn’t matter if you actually are “way out her league,” it only matters if you believe you are. Because if you don’t believe it, then you are going to fail no matter how rich, how good looking or how tall you are.
If you just stop to think logically about this, you’d realize that it is IMPOSSIBLE for women to be attracted to looks the way men are. Just imagine for a moment you were a woman and you had the same sex drive you do now, only for men. You’d be out getting boned non-stop, on the subway, in the gas station bathroom, EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME. You’d never make it out of the supermarket because you’d be getting boned in the produce isle.
The world simply couldn’t operate like that. Women would see a hot dude and immediately be trying to suck him off. The world would implode.
Consider this situation, If a hot girl walks up to a random ugly guy and offers sex, unless he’s gay or the most faithful man on the planet, he’s going to take her up on the offer. If a hot guy walks up to a random ugly girl and offers sex, what are the odds she turns him down compared to the odds of the guy turning the hot girl down? As the videos demonstrate, not a single girl out of a hundred took the guy up on his offer. So there is empirical proof that it doesn’t work like that.
Watch a short, balding ginger make out with two hot girls at the same time.
If you look at the work put out by companies like Real Social Dynamics these days, all of them are saying the same things I’ve been saying for years now. They don’t teach pick-up lines, they focus almost entirely on correcting self-esteem and self-worth issues.
See this post for a huge collection of related seminars and self-help instructors.