Do Men’s Looks Matter When It Comes To Attracting Women?

I’ve noticed that this article is a fairly popular piece, so I’ve decided to update it and provide some more body behind my arguments.

TLDR version:No.  A guy’s looks don’t really matter.  Looks are only a small part of what creates attraction in a woman.  Good looks make building initial attraction easier, but an average looking guy can get an attractive girl by saying and doing the right things.  How you act and what you say are far more important than how good you look.

A little back story on me.  I’m a good looking guy.  In high school, I was 6’2″ tall, 180 lbs, with a strong jaw line. Today, at 37, I weight in at 195 and I wear size 36 pants.  I still look pretty damn good for my age.  I’m not exactly David Beckham, but I’m not a slouch either.

A few facts about my dating life:

In high school, I never had a steady girlfriend.  In fact, I was utterly abysmal with women.  It wouldn’t surprise me if the girls in my class thought I was gay.

I’ve never – ever – had a good looking girl throw herself at me.  I’ve been approached by fatties, but never once has a hot girl simply come on to me without me doing anything.

I’ve been on many dates with good looking women that have ended with the girl saying the following:  “You are a really nice person, you’re a great story teller, you are interesting to talk to, and I mean look at you, you’re tall, you look great, but I just didn’t feel any chemistry.”  I’ve also had plenty of dates that went great or even turned into long term relationships.

Just taking those few facts into account from my own personal life story should disprove this theory that looks are the most important thing to women.  If all women really cared about was looks, why didn’t I get laid on all my dates?  If it was just about looks, I should have gotten laid on every date I’ve ever been on.  I’m here to tell you that good looking guys get shot down by women ALL THE TIME – even by ugly women!  

Consider if the situation were reversed.  Let’s say you were on a date with a fairly attractive girl.  While on this date, the girl says all sorts of things that just turn you off.  The girl is racist, has a snotty personality, disrespects the people around her, smokes, drinks excessively, asks stupid questions, etc.. etc.. You decide that this girl is obviously not relationship material.  Now lets say it’s the end of the date and this hottie wants to suck you off in the car.  How many of you guys are going to say no?

I don’t know a single red blooded male heterosexual who would tell a hot chick that he’s not interested in a BJ because the girl’s personality sucks.  Yet virtually EVERY SINGLE GIRL ON THIS PLANET will tell a guy to fuck off she doesn’t find his personality attractive.     Girls refer to an attractive personality as having “chemistry” – which doesn’t translate quite the way you think it does.  It’s not about how nice or respectable a guy is, nor is it about his looks or his wallet, it’s about how arousing and confident a guy is.  A super good looking guy isn’t going to get laid if he’s not confident AND arousing.  Confident and arousing = attractive to a woman.  An ugly guy who is confident and arousing will be VASTLY more successful with women than a hot guy who fails to be confident and arousing.

The fact that I’ve been shut down on several dates that originated from online dating sites also helps refute this notion that it’s all about looks.  If a girl is willing to go out on a date with me from an online dating site, it can be assumed right from the start that she finds me attractive enough to have sex with.  My looks aren’t the issue, otherwise she never would have agreed to date me in the first place. If I’m not getting laid from an online date, it can only be because of what I said or how I acted (or what I failed to say or do).

While I’ve been using anecdotes about my own life to make my points, I can guarantee you my experiences are not unique.  I’m not a special snowflake.  This is universal shit.  I will bet anyone my entire life savings that I can find other good looking men with identical experiences.

Now you might say, “you only got those dates in the first place because you were good looking, and then you fucked it up while you were on the date.” – but isn’t this admitting that looks aren’t the most important thing?  If looks are the most important thing, as long as I didn’t do or say anything offensive on my dates, I should have gotten laid – right?

You see, my looks may have helped get me the date, but those dates blew up in face because I displayed all sorts of unattractive behaviors.  The term “unattractive behavior” flies right over most guys’ heads.  Think about how badly a hot girl would have to behave before you would refuse to have sex with her if she was asking for it.  - Pretty damn bad; most likely so bad that the police would probably be involved.  You might not date her again, but refusing free sex from a hottie?  This fact clearly demonstrates that women’s top priority is NOT looks – they don’t think like men, so stop assuming they are into looks the same way guys are, because they aren’t.

I’ve been on dates where the girl flat out tells me she finds me physically attractive and that I have a great personality, but she just didn’t feel the chemistry, so she wasn’t interested in doing anything sexual with me. Contrasting the many dates that I crashed and burned on vs. the many dates that turned out great, a VERY clear pattern emerges – and it has NOTHING to do with my looks.

On successful dates, I always said or did the following:

  • Strong eye contact
  • Lots of touching from the very beginning.  I can’t emphasize this enough.  If you’re not touching a girl within the first minute of conversation, you’re doing it wrong.  Players with ultra strong verbal game can get away with not touching, but for the rest of us, that’s like fighting with one hand tied behind your back.
  • Initial touching should be brushing her arm, then on to holding her arm/hand, then putting your arm around her. Nothing sleazy at first. Tap tap tap, touch touch touch, extended touching, THEN slightly sleazy, like stroking her thigh if things are going good.
  • Initially challenging conversation (are your parents still together, do you have a degree, what do you do for a living), then on to sexually arousing conversation.  Not sleazy conversion, but arousing conversation.
  • Teasing, playful, fun attitude, often expressed through physicality.  Jokingly pushing a girl away if she says something that can be misconstrued.  Playing footsie under the table.  Poking her or bumping her for no reason and then pretending you didn’t.  etc.. etc..
  • Escalating touching in a public space (like a restaurant booth) to the point of stroking her thigh under the table within a half hour of meeting her for the first time.  If you aren’t touching a girl as if she were your girlfriend within a half hour of meeting her, you’re doing it wrong.  This does not mean you should be trying to ram your tongue down her throat in a restaurant or club.  It means being discreet, yet physically arousing.
  • Just being generally arousing, but not obscene or vulgar.

On EVERY DATE that I crashed and burned on, I failed to do most or all of those bullet points.  You can talk about completely inane subjects if you’re being physical.  If you’re stroking a girl’s thigh and staring into her eyes while talking about your favorite sports team, she’s going to be getting turned on.

Moving on, lets put my personal life aside and look at some other examples instead.  Open these links in another browser window to see what I mean.

Disgusting – I mean seriously.

For guys, looks are fairly meaningless until you’re dead, at which point you won’t care anyways.  Hugh Hefner is 87.  His latest wife, that he married in 2012, is a 27 year old Playmate of the Year.  Most guys assume this girl married him for his money, but I highly doubt that.  Hefner has been dating ridiculously gorgeous women his whole life.  That’s what he does.

If you stripped Hefner of his wealth, he’d still be dating 27 year olds.  Does anyone think Crystal Harris couldn’t go out and find herself a good looking millionaire at the drop of hat tomorrow if she chose to?   She could have practically any guy she wants, but she chose to marry an 87 year old man with a reputation for philandering.  To claim this is about money is an unfair put-down to Harris.  It’s yet another excuse men tell themselves to shield their own egos.

I personally only date good looking women, and I have friends that date model gorgeous women on a regular basis.  One of them actually worked as a dating coach for a bit.  He’s about 5’6″ tall, bald, 36 years old, skinny, missing teeth, unemployed, living in a small condo, and drives a 10 year old Honda with a missing rear bumper.   I’ve seen this guy in action.  Anyone who claims women are attracted to looks and wealth is smoking crack, because this guy is living proof to the contrary.  His personality is so damn cool, his conversations always so fun, and his self-confidence always so high, that women are simply incapable of resisting his charms.

When women run into a guy with the same personality as Hefner, they can’t help but feel attraction for him.  Attraction is not a choice.  Attraction is not a choice.  Attraction is not a choice.  The only choice anyone has is whether or not they chose to act on the attraction they feel.  Sleeping with someone is a choice, being attracted to them is not.

Now I’m going to backtrack a tiny bit on what I just said.  A man’s looks matter to a woman, in as much as they matter to the man who is trying to pick her up.  That is to say, if a man believes women find him unattractive, he will be unattractive.  His subconscious insecurities will bubble to the surface while he is interacting with her.  The hotter the girl is, the faster she’s going to pick up on those subconscious cues of insecurity and reject him.  In fact, she’ll probably probe him for insecurities directly just to see if he has genuine self-confidence or if he’s just putting on a show.

For men, every last drop of attractiveness has to come from the inside.  It has to come from the core of his very being.  If a guy works out for hours every day and diets until he has the body of a Greek god, the very fact that he has such a rocking body might give him a self-confidence boost.  However, it is the self-confidence that he gets from his body, NOT his appearance, that ultimately makes him attractive.  His buff body is an ego crutch.  It’s a fake self-confidence that doesn’t come from having a sense of true self-worth, no matter what he looks like.  Strip that guy of his buff body and he’s going to be reduced to a pile of insecure rubble that no woman would want to date.  It just takes time or one accident for that to happen.

I often hear women complaining that the whole world is conspiring to push the objectification of women.  That the world is to blame for this huge focus on women’s looks over their personalities.  Well, ya know what?  The whole world is simultaneously conspiring to destroy men’s sense of self-worth.

Girls, ever wonder why most of the guys you meet act like insecure feckless unimaginative losers?  Ever wonder why all the guys that hit on you say virtually the same shit?   The hot girls know what I’m talking about.  “Hi!  What’s your name?”,  ” Where are you from? “,  “What do you do?”  *puke*   Then they offer to buy you a drink and try to latch on to you with more boring conversation while never once dropping any sexual innuendo.  It’s because they are shitting themselves inside, terrified to death you might reject them, injure their egos, and make a publicly embarrassing scene.  See the trembling hands, the wavering voice, the lack of eye contact?  Little boys, trapped in men’s bodies, scared of a girl.

Most men honestly believe that a car, looks, wealth, fame, house, etc.. are the determining factors that define their attractiveness to women.  That beats out “just looks” hands-down as far as oppression goes in my opinion.  Of course, men aren’t allowed to verbalize these insecurities publicly.  Oh no – that would make them pussies.  That’s why these hidden assumptions keep perpetuating themselves.

The media, the political elite, and those already in positions of economic power, don’t like competition.  The last thing they want is a society full of self-confident men who aren’t going to behave like good little subjects.  They want a society full of men who don’t have the balls needed to start-up a new competitive company and work for themselves.  They want a society full of men who need safety-nets and handouts, who need their protection from all bad things.  That’s what they want, and that’s the agenda they push – everywhere.

Every piece of news is created to invoke a sense of fear.  Every James Bond movie says this is the type of guy who women find attractive.  Every political speech is about how the political class is going to protect you from some new terrible tragedy.  Every men’s magazine is about how to get a ripped body or accumulate wealth, with images of yachts, planes, suits, fancy watches, etc…  Go find me a men’s magazine that teaches men how to be self-confident, non-needy, emotionally stable individuals without relying on looks or wealth as means to those ends.  Men don’t have a feminist movement.

Self-confidence has to come from within guys.  Never look for some external entity or physical appearance as the basis for your own self-worth.

And if all that wan’t enough, look at the messaging habits of women on online dating sites.  The data obtained by OKTrends backs up what I’m saying here.  It’s hard to argue with raw numbers.  If you have doubts, take the time to read the linked article.

The best looking men get 10x the number of messages as the ugliest men.  Now, you might think that’s proves the opposite of my point, until you look and see that the best looking women get 25x the messages as the ugliest ones.  If we take that ratio at face value, that means women value looks 2.5 times less than guys do.  Further, women think the vast majority of men are ugly or average no matter what they might look like:

Female-Messaging-Curve

credit OKCupid Trends

Message-Multiple

 

As OKTrends notes, “This graph also dramatically illustrates just how much more important a woman’s looks are than a guy’s.”

Women don’t judge men primarily on looks.  If they did, no one would be getting laid.

And now for a little levity:

  • Christian

    I speak from experience if you want to attract women you need to dress to win. They all like a guy with a tie on. Now I am not saying you can’t without but you have more options if you do. BTW this will spook your work into thinking your looking for another job. You may also be mistaken for the owner of the business. :)

    • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede

      Women like guys with ties because its unusual and because when a guy wears a tie, it puts him into a more confident mind state. It’s never about the looks directly, it’s always about how those looks impact the self-confidence of the guy.

      When you’re wearing a tie, are you going to act like a slob? Are you going to drool beer down the front of your shirt? Do you feel more like a pimp than an average chump?

      It’s not about the tie, its about the mind state the tie brings. You don’t need a tie, a suit, or a fancy shirt to pick up women.

      • Christian

        Well I have been married for nineteen years. So I don’t flirt or give any women any kind of reason to flirt with me. They are attracted to men who dress to win. That or I am just a stud. My friend I used to work with said they are attracted to men with wedding rings on. He even wanted to borrow my ring for a party once.

        • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede

          “My friend I used to work with said they are attracted to men with wedding rings on. ”

          Bingo.

          It’s called pre-selection. Women know you must have something to offer because some other woman agreed to spend the rest of her life with you.

          That’s just how they think.

          That shit would never cross a guys mind. Guys might get jealous because some guy has a hot wife, but not because they think she has something to offer besides her ass.

      • Aaron David

        genious yes a tie . good job. if every guy could’ve just thought of that. thanks stud

  • Tom

    I’ve lived a lot of years and had a good share of wives and girlfriends. Women are interested in a man’s looks. If he LOOKS like he has lots of money, that is!

    • RustyBoltz

      There is that sect of women who are “gold-diggers” but it’s a relatively small club for the most part. Most people are middle class average types who don’t go to the club scene every weekend to land a hot young Wall Street stud. And to emphasize the point of this article, I’ve personally known a couple hot young studs that landed model types all the time. And ya know what? These guys were incredibly short and below average in looks. BUT, they did dress really nice, lived with confidence, and pretty much lived life how they wanted. One of them told me that he would only date physically attractive women. It was some kind of rule for him. I was always shocked at how gorgeous their girlfriends were.

      I’ve been told I’m pretty good looking, but because of low self esteem and some insecurities, I’ve blown so many opportunities because I couldn’t get past myself and didn’t know that some of these pretty women were actually interested in me. Though I can remember a couple times in my life I was caught off guard by the fact that a very good looking woman was interested in me and we had great conversation, etc. But it was because I was feeling so good during that moment (for some reason I was in a state of rare confidence) and she was so open and real that I couldn’t believe I was hanging out with such a beauty. So there you go, life experience. Cheers! ;)

      • Aaron David

        gorgeous girls are morons just like them. dont you get it. they offer shit. thats why they are together? now try to meet the standards of a bright gorgeous person. then you have a conversation

  • James

    Women are attracted to deluded narcissists?

    I knew it.

  • Jonathan Jaech

    Nicely written, MIchael. More could be said, of course. But you’ve made a good start.

  • Meg

    Um…actually looks matter.

    • Michael Suede

      It depends what you mean by that. Good looks make it easier for a guy to attract women, I’m not disputing that. What I’m disputing is this notion that good looking women base their attraction predominately on a guy’s looks.

      I know plenty of average looking guys who are dating model quality women. I see it every day with my own two eyes.

    • Anthony

      Most people know that.
      Only dudes who are in denial, or are trying to sell (doesn’t have to be a product, could be an agenda) you something say different.

  • john smith

    i believe the strongest proof of this is serge gainsbourg he was rather unatractive and yet he slept with the most beautiful women of france such as bridget bardot or jene birkin and you cant say they loved his money since those women were already rich and famous getting a good looking man for them wouldnt be a slightest problem but they chose him, why? because he was self-confident and incredably charismatic. sure looks help, they help a lot but they do not decide anything.

  • Lane Gonzalez

    Are you wondering why women not being attracted to you? Why do other guys get such beautiful women, when you clearly have so much more to give them? Why can’t you attract the women you want when you are such a good catch obviously? Then following is for you:

    attractwomen. info

    I had had exactly the same feelings, then a GOOD friend of mine recommended me the link and now I am a completely different person, talking with women with great confidence, knowing very well how and what to talk with positive results. I highly recommend it.

  • restv

    Delusional garbage.

    • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede
    • Y

      Yes. Charismatic, confident men who are physically unattractive or even ugly truly are disadvantaged when it comes to women. This article accurately assesses the importance of masculine confidence, but confidence is only part of the complex equation of female attraction to men. Since women are human beings, they are also visually stimulated by others. Heterosexual women are visually stimulated by and sexually attracted to beautiful men, but what exactly constitutes masculine beauty is different from woman to woman, as beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This is the nuanced distinction that is missing from this article – women interpret masculine physical beauty in different ways according to individuated standards, but that male beauty is a crucial component of female attraction to men is irrefutable. Some women believe that Joseph Gordon-Levitt is drop-dead gorgeous, some do not. Some women believe Adam Driver is hideous, some do not. This is to be expect once one acknowledges the reality that men’s physical appearance matters to women; standards of beauty of course differ from woman to woman, but the crucial point that needs to be grasped among this diversity is that the concept of male beauty actually exists among women, and that it feeds into sexual desire and general attraction. As women become more financially independent and empowered, they will continually place themselves in a position where they can be more honest with themselves and with others about what kind of masculine beauty produces raw, sexual attraction in them, and they will also be in a position to not settle for less than what they actually desire. Many women will of course not be able to enter relationships with the men they consider the most physically beautiful, but the fact remains that the desire for those men still remains, regardless of what women actually articulate in defensive posturings.

      • Anthony

        All that needs to be said in one post has been said.
        You can simplify something that’s not so simple, plus to be honest most women aren’t going to give you an honest answer because of the way she will be perceived whereas men are sort of lumped together and expected to say they want somebody they find attractive.

  • John Gentile

    this is such a joke of an article. money and looks are all that matters. you can parade yourself around with all the confidence in the world but if you look ugly the only thing the women around you are gonna do is laugh and say” “who does he think he is!” lets get real. its heartless but that’s the way men and women are. heartless….

    • Y

      I completely agree. Charismatic, confident men who are physically unattractive or even ugly truly are disadvantaged when it comes to women. This article accurately assesses the importance of masculine confidence, but confidence is only part of the complex equation of female attraction to men. Since women are human beings, they are also visually stimulated by others. Heterosexual women are visually stimulated by and sexually attracted to beautiful men, but what exactly constitutes masculine beauty is different from woman to woman, as beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This is the nuanced distinction that is missing from this article – women interpret masculine physical beauty in different ways according to individuated standards, but that male beauty is a crucial component of female attraction to men is irrefutable. Some women believe that Joseph Gordon-Levitt is drop-dead gorgeous, some do not. Some women believe Adam Driver is hideous, some do not. This is to be expect once one acknowledges the reality that men’s physical appearance matters to women; standards of beauty of course differ from woman to woman, but the crucial point that needs to be grasped among this diversity is that the concept of male beauty actually exists among women, and that it feeds into sexual desire and general attraction. As women become more financially independent and empowered, they will continually place themselves in a position where they can be more honest with themselves and with others about what kind of masculine beauty produces raw, sexual attraction in them, and they will also be in a position to not settle for less than what they actually desire. Many women will of course not be able to enter relationships with the men they consider the most physically beautiful, but the fact remains that the desire for those men still remains, regardless of what women actually articulate in defensive posturings.

      • Jeff

        Good points, Y. Something tells me that the one who voted your comment down is an ugly man. I’m not the best-looking guy, but I still clean up pretty good. I know full well that the way I look helps me with women, but obviously some men are not that blessed.

    • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede
  • Sarah

    Girls don’t sleep with guys on dates because girls are taught not to. See it from a girl’s perspective – if she sleeps with you, you might end up being a crazed attacker, you might expect a relationship or you might start stalking her. And her friends and family might call her a whore for ‘sleeping around’. It’s not so easy for women as it is for men. It’s not because she’s not attracted to a man’s looks. It’s because men come with too much drama to make a mistake – so she has to more selective.

    • Sven

      I was thinking the same thing as I read this article. I’m guessing the author lives in a big city where sexual boundaries are a lot more loose then in small-town USA. Most small-town girls have a similar perspective as to what you just commented, and maybe some small-town guys too. I wouldn’t expect to sleep with a girl on the first date, most girls I go with will make me wait till we are going steady. If she slept with me on the first date, she’d be “cashing in all her chips before seeing the flop”. I am really confident and good enough looking to date most any girl I want, but I don’t just date them for sex and I treat them with respect – which coincidentally makes them want to sleep with me even more. Maybe I am an oddball because I prefer to have a relationship instead of no-strings sex.

  • ian

    Yup, you can b et your life savings,……. ive been a model, i was (not now imin my mid 30s) the slimmest most attractive man werever i went, school, uni, clubs, on the train, i was very very good looking, know how many women i had ? ? ?? 1 prostitute that i payed for !!!! its a terrable shame im the biggest wimp on the plannet hahahah, oh well gotta learrn to live with being single forever i guess 1 !

    • J23A

      How can you be the most attractive guy in the room and not get any? Why the low confidence?

    • Daniel Lewis

      If you are so attractive, then why no picture???
      Bullshit.

    • Red Martian

      I thought when liked lean muscular guys. Not stick thin ones.

  • Jefferson

    “If you stripped Hefner of his wealth, he’d still be dating 27 year olds.”

    Yeah because there are plenty of broke 87 year old men living just off of their social security that are dating women young enough to their granddaughters

  • john doe

    this is the dumbest shit I ever heard, women 100% want money, every empirical study examining the matter has found this. 99%+ of marriages are of a woman to a richer man, the only other marriages are where both are very wealthy and a few million doesn’t matter. Women do not care about personality or love or your body or your confidence, only your money and ability to get more. Read buss 1989, 50 cultures covering some 5 billion people, finding women only want money, other factors account for almost nothing

  • Daniel Lewis

    I’m a very good looking guy, and I can tell you: this is utter bullshit. Money, and the appearance of money, get you a girlfriend. Period. I used to sleep with a lot of married women, but would they ever date someone like me? No, of course not. Money is what it comes down to. One woman in particular, a very attractive redhead who was a pediatric surgeon- married to an architect— loved fucking me, but she would not thinking of leaving her short, bald, small dicked husband. I’m good enough to bed, but not good enough to date.

    • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede

      I can see some issues in your statement, so I ask you to remain open to criticism.

      1. Why are you sleeping with a lot of married women? If I find out a woman I’m interested in is married, I wouldn’t try to sleep with her. If I was looking for a relationship, I would ignore her and move on to a woman that is emotionally available.

      The fact that you are seeking out married women is a sign that YOU are not an emotionally available person. You’re going after women who you instinctively know are not emotionally available. That’s great for a fling, but it’s hardly surprising they don’t want to dump their husbands for you.

      2. You seem to think that money is all important, while others on here seem to think looks are all important. You just proved my main point that looks don’t matter. Hot pediatric surgeon married to a short bald man.

      3. I doubt money is the reason she remains with the short bald guy. If she is a pediatric surgeon, do you think she would struggle to make it on her own? She could divorce him, take half the property and probably hose him for alimony to boot. The median salary for a pediatric surgeon is $388,000 a year, not including benefits or bonuses. I have a really hard time believing that she’s staying with this guy because of the money.

      She is staying with the guy because he’s emotionally available, and she’s using you as her boy-toy because of your body. You’re like a living dildo to her.

    • Aaron David

      thats sad that you cant get a girl to love you man. even if you were good looking maybe you need some wisdom to get love

    • Red Martian

      Somebody’s been reading too many erotic novels.

    • mark

      I have been sleeping with two married women, I was very regert about it because a real man would respect the people. I learned from mistakes and move on. I see you treat women like dirt which you don’t need to because they are humans like us. Good luck for stay as single for life because of your attitudes which women will not want you.

  • Steve Chan

    It depends on what kind of handsome you are. Are you like “hunky” handsome, “metrosexual” handsome (looks like a gay man), “charismatic and mature” handsome (which is the most attractive to girls I think). Since you said you’re once mistaken as a gay guy, I think you fall into the second category. Sorry, most girls don’t find this look attractive.
    I think for women being attracted to a guy is a combination of factors: looks, personality, chemistry, financial background, interesting job. If she’s serious about long -term relationships, you have to score on all those things with her. I don’t think most women (or most people) would get into a relationship SOLELY because of one dominant factor unless they are pyschos

  • A4SkyhawkScooter

    Actually, when it comes to getting a relationship off the ground to begin with, looks do matter, personality does not. Science had been telling us this for decades: http://facts.randomhistory.com/human-attraction-facts.html

    “A landmark study in 1966 by the University of Minnesota–Minneapolis
    gathered a group of 664 student volunteers. The study showed that there
    was little or no difference between introverted and extroverted
    personalities when it came to being liked by a date. In other words,
    young college adults were primarily concerned about the physical
    attractiveness of their date.”

    • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede

      You are exhibiting what is called “selection bias” in your argument.

      You have presupposed some outcome and are finding evidence to support that outcome to the exclusion of other evidence.

      I’ve never argued that looks don’t make a difference, just that they are not the most important thing. Being good looking guy can get you laid, but being ugly with the right personality will also get you laid.

      From that same page you just linked, it notes:

      “Women are more likely to judge a man to be more attractive when they see another woman looking and smiling at him. For a male, the same man becomes less attractive.”

      As a side note, I have a 38 year old short little Asian friend who just picked up a 22 year old hottie the other day. He was dating a 24 year old model prior to that (taller than him too). He dumped her when she started demanding kids and marriage.

      • A4SkyhawkScooter

        Not at all, you’re the one engaging in red herrings. Other women smiling at him creates an artificial halo effect, and if there’s a lack of attractiveness, no woman’s going to smile at him unless he has money. Keep inventing your imaginary friends and spewing more excuses to justify the thousands you’re undoubtedly wasted on pick-up.

        For those of you who aren’t delusional, I highly recommend you watch FACEandLMS’s videos on YouTube.

        • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede

          It’s not artificial if it gets you laid.

          It’s like you’re trying to convince me the sky is green when I can clearly see with my own two eyes that it is blue.

          I see ugly guys with hot women ALL THE TIME. I see poor guys with hot women ALL THE TIME. I see it every damn day!

          You’re a pretty remarkable fellow to be able to ignore everything that’s in plain view every day. Do you live in a cave? Do you go out at all?

          • A4SkyhawkScooter

            How does getting laid make something natural? Do you even look at what you write?

            Ever heard of Looks Money Status? That’s what governs initial attraction of a woman to a man, and without initial attraction, the relationship doesn’t get started to begin with. Lack of looks can be compensated for with money and status. Due to the halo effect, for women “personality” and “confidence” are inevitably the result of a man’s attractiveness.

            I do go out once a week, while you sit in your mother’s basement making imaginary friends to delude yourself into thinking that you can escape your virginity.

          • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede

            So you think it’s simply impossible that I have a short Asian friend who dates models; therefore, I must be making my story up?

            LOL

            Hey man, if you want to believe that you can’t get a girl unless you look good and have money, keep on with your bad self.

    • Red Martian

      Here’s the offender! Click on the link the poster provides. Now scroll to the very bottom of the page where the article cites its sources. Notice that Cosmopolitan is the first one cited.

      That says enough on it’s own I think but I’ll go ahead and call BS just the same. I don’t agree with Suede’s argument but neither will I side with Cosmopolitan.

      • A4SkyhawkScooter

        Nice try, but my citation didn’t use Cosmo. It used a book.

  • hxcp

    “I’ve never – ever – had a good looking girl throw herself at me”

    Hot girls don’t throw themselves at anyone. They don’t need to. This should be common sense.

    “If all women really cared about was looks, why didn’t I get laid on all my dates?”

    Sorry champ but you aren’t as good looking as you think.

    “A super good looking guy isn’t going to get laid if he’s not confident AND arousing. Confident and arousing = attractive to a woman. An ugly guy who is confident and arousing will be VASTLY more successful with women than a hot guy who fails to be confident and arousing.”

    . You can mentally masturbate over a theoretical case of a hot guy who is a complete asperger case (hint: this doesn’t exist, attractive people are positively reinforced lifelong and love being themselves) but at the end of the day, so long as both guys put in equal amounts of effort to interact and date women, are socially normal and have equal money and status, the good looking guy will be more successful than the ugly guy

    ” My looks aren’t the issue, otherwise she never would have agreed to date me in the first place”

    She could be looking for a free meal or is on the fence about you and see how good you look in motion.

    “That is to say, if a man believes women find him unattractive, he will be unattractive”

    No truly, objectively attractive guy will believe they are unattractive in the first place. People know deep down how attractive they are and what league to lay in. Useless, false jargon. Even if Brad Pitt thought he was unattractive, he will still be attractive provided he acted like a normal human being. The statement is a logical fallacy.

    “Most guys assume this girl married Hugh Hefner for his money, but I highly doubt that.”

    Stopped reading there. That is enough for today. Fail article

    and lol at that chart at the end. Many women on dating sites are boyfriend hunters and ex carousellers who are “tired of games and players” and are looking for income and stability.

    • A4SkyhawkScooter

      Just to add to hxcp, the logical fallacy in question is the argumentum ad consequentiam fallacy.

    • incel

      excellent

    • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede

      I see there is a whole little troop of you clowns that hate the idea of ugly guys getting laid for some reason.

    • Red Martian

      Oops. Wrong guy.

    • Aaron Bennett

      I disagree. I am a very attractive guy and I have mental issues, and social issues. I’ve done modeling in the past, am 6′ tall, toned, in great shape. I’m also a chem and math major, so I’m hot and intelligent, yet I have trouble getting a girl, though honestly, college is more important at the moment.

      I’ve always had social issues, but when I am in the mood and relaxed, I can hit on a lot of girls with pretty positive results, though nothing seems to ever come of it.

      I guess some of it is I am a nomadic minimalist, and have no urges to settle down, and I hate owning stuff.

      • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede

        You’re not alone. Social awkwardness is common among highly logical people. Dating seminars are often packed with engineers and IT people.

        Try this next time you hit on a girl.. get your hands on her. Don’t grab her ass or anything, but you need to get your hands on them and remember the purpose of what you’re trying to communicate “I want to bang your brains out.”

        Just keep touching. Touching is at least 50% of the game. I’ve seen guys pull girls and barely say a word to them. Body language and physical contact can be so powerful you barely have to talk.

        If it seems really awkward at first because you’re touching some girl you barely know in a suggestive way, that’s because it is. Just work through it. Keep doing it. Don’t stop until she tells you to knock it off or walks away. If she’s still standing there, assume she’s enjoying it.

        Confident men just assume women want them to touch and talk to them. They don’t ask, they just do. And if you get shot down or called a perv, so what? Chances are you’ll never see her again anyways.

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  • Pingback: Are Libertarian Males A Bunch Of Pussies? | Libertarian News

  • Been There

    Relax. Start with a little mild conversation, a little humor( not tasteless jokes or comments.) If you make people feel relaxed and comfortable being around you, the rest will happen in it’s own time. Try not to have the I want to hump your leg look on your face…They see that. Ask them genuine questions and listen to their answer with genuine interest. You are already you…you know you…get to know them. Don’t touch them until the invitation is extended and if they want you to, you will know. Give them your attention, don’t talk on your phone or study other women as they walk by – I suppose that’s known without saying. Show them that you are genuine not desperate (that’s creepy). Your conversation should not be about past relationships…yesterday gets old, tomorrow is what people are interested in. Be positive, not boastful. Leave the dirty laundry at home not on a first meeting. Just give them a small taste of who you are, not the full bowl. People are like spaghetti, too much and you don’t want to see it again for a good long while. I think at a certain age, people start to look for something a little more meaningful than they did at 18 or 20. Be yourself, don’t try too hard. Act like a man not a boy. Be a gentleman and try making someone other than yourself the center of the universe and good things will come. Don’t show her your fancy watch or your pinky ring, don’t talk about your clothes or your shoes…she can have those conversations with her girlfriends. Cool never works for those that try too hard…be yourself.

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  • Lisa

    Haha your wrong, we objectify men and looks matter a lot. Just saying.

    • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede

      According to the data, ON AVERAGE women are much less concerned about looks than men. That’s not to say they don’t appreciate good looks, just not the way men do.

      When we are talking about aggregates, like “all women,” there are going to be plenty of exceptions. Do you know any good looking girls who have dated some ugly looking guys? I bet you do.

  • Red Martian

    I don’t think you can generalize people to the point the you can say looks are or aren’t important to them. As for the confidence bit I haven’t seen it work with my own two eyes; although I enjoy watching people fail with it (just for the laughs)

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  • anonymous

    This is the biggest load of horse shit i have ever read. women care about looks and NOTHING else.

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  • scrapper

    Odds are you’re rating yourself as considerably more attractive than you really are and that explains your lack of success with women. For some reason, guys can never admit that they’re ugly. My brother’s friend, for example, is an objective 2, but the other day he announced that he is good looking (in the context of a conversation about why he will succeed in politics). Like you, he also complains about his lack of success with women, but is in denial about his homeliness being the cause.

    To answer your question, yes, men’s looks do matter. The problem is that men put such little effort into their appearance that few of them stand out as good looking. Women are then forced to rate you on factors other than your appearance. As a bisexual woman, I find men’s refusal to do anything to look good to be obnoxious. There are far more attractive women than their are attractive men, but if you took away the makeup, grooming, body hair shaving, etc, women and men would be about equally attractive.

    In summary: 1) no, you are not good looking, you’re just delusional like many guys who do poorly with women; and 2) if men would make more effort to look good, then perhaps there’d be enough attractive guys for appearance to become a larger factors in women’s mate selection process.

    • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede

      Are you addressing me, the author of the article?

      1. All of my girlfriends have been outrageously hot.

      2. I don’t have a problem dating good looking women.

      3. Unless you’ve seen my videos, how could you even know what I look like? How could you judge my looks without ever seeing me?

      • scrapper

        Why yes, I am addressing you, who else could I possibly be talking to? Also, no, you do not date good looking women. You’ve already proven yourself to be a delusional narcissist. Also, if you consider grooming “separate issues apart from the body and face” you’re doing it wrong.

        • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede

          You should get a job as a psychic. I’ve never met someone who can judge people’s looks without seeing them before. That’s a pretty neat trick.

          In reality, you’re proving my point for me. You’re judging me NOT based on my looks, but on my attitude. The angrier you get, the more you prove my point.

  • Lana

    Have you ever considered women don’t want to have sex with a guy they don’t see a future with? Why are you assuming the purpose of dating is to have sex? Women date to get married and have babies (duh). So that explains why you’re not getting laid. And of course looks matter. Dating is like a staircase. Looks are the first stair and then personality is the second. So looks will get you that first date, but personality gets you the second one. Furthermore, if a guy tried stroking my thigh within 30 minutes of meeting me, I’d be out the door in a flash.

    • http://www.libertariannews.org/ Michael Suede

      Who said I’m not getting laid?

      Each person is different. Most women, if they meet the “right” guy, will make out with him in under an hour. I have plenty of first hand experience with this.

      But thanks for supporting my assertions. Looks are just one tiny step that can easily be overcome. That’s not how it works with men. Men see a hot girl and immediately want to have sex with her, regardless of what her personality is like. She could be the biggest bitch in the world and it wouldn’t make a bit of difference.

      Personality is key.

  • k6

    Men are total idots and this article proves it. Ever wonder why so many women are moving towards women? Guys are Broken X’s. Lesser of the two sexes…females are the default…ugh. The bullet points are hysterical…any woman that responds to that…well a female wouldn’t. Pathetic little man twits.

    • k6

      Oops, I thought that was my inside voice. Men are wonderful and all your bullet points sound great! Sounds great, lets do it!

  • AK887

    Ugly guys / Average looking guys can pull girls that are out of their league using game, but that is usually girls that are looking for a rebound and wanting to f*** anything that moves at that stage in their life. They are looking for attention. Once they start feeling good about themselves they will go find somebody that is more in their league.

  • Seriously Speaking

    It is the ugliest men today that do have the beautiful women, especially when they have a lot of money.

  • Seriously Speaking

    Most of the ugliest men nowadays have the beautiful women. Then again, women love men with money too.