Ben Bernanke Blows Up Marshnuts

The following few paragraphs might be slightly confusing without reading the story, but suffice to say, economist J. Grayson Lilburne highlights how Helicopter Ben is busy blowing up our real economy.

Mises reports:

Unbeknownst to Craig and Carolyn, a helicopter is on its way to their sweet-tooth Neverland. Unfortunately, its captain is a fellow named Helicopter Ben, who wants to rescue the whole island economy. From his chopper, he dumps hundreds of plaster-of-Paris, fake seashells at regular intervals into the storage pits of all the lenders on the island, including Carolyn. Helicopter Ben insists that dumping new money onto the credit market (“credit expansion”) will help the economy to grow.

Craig approaches Carolyn for a loan for his latest capital project: a new and improved catapult. But he is given pause to find that she is now only charging a bargain-basement rate of 10 percent! With her new abundance of seashells, the marginal utility of present seashells has plummeted for her; thus the lower rate.

Craig’s eyes widen. With a 10-percent rate, the sky’s the limit for capital investment! If the 10-percent rate persists for a whole month, he could afford to fund his dream project: using 500 marshnuts to build a giant single-use trebuchet that could reach the top of the biggest tree on the island and thus rain down 5,000 marshnuts!

Helicopter Ben is a terrorist insurgent hell bent on blowing up the economy and turning the country into a banana republic.

The author of this story forgot to mention that Helicopter Ben’s helicopter is loaded with Hellfire missiles and 30mm Gatling gun.   After dumping his fake sea shells and causing total economic chaos, he plans on landing and hording all the marshnuts to himself.