UK Pedophiles Enraged Over Background Investigations

UK airport security guards are enraged that the public dares to question the backgrounds of the perverts selected to operate the new naked body scanners.

As one guard notes:

“The idea that we are going to get kicks out of seeing a blurry grey image of people’s bodies is frankly offensive.

“Its about as sensible as saying the act of patting down a passenger is perverted. We are here to do a job. We have bombs and knives on our minds and that’s it.”

Of course, because this is a blurry grey image:

The guard went on to state:

The new uniforms with Velcro snaps are great though!  They make it much easier to get comfortable when you’re in your hidden back room staring at hot pre-pubescent naked bodies.

Prime minister Gordon Brown is reportedly seeking a position as a part time security screener in the wake of the panty bomber.  Brown stated he felt the need to personally oversee the scanning operations to ensure the public’s safety.

Currently under UK law, the body scanners violate child porn laws.  Not that it really matters though since we all know government is above the law.