*ponders bank account*
“There are hidden caves which I will show to the new owner. These caves have not likely seen any humans besides myself and my boys.”
“Plenty of hunting; there are deer, rabbit, and quail on our property every day.”
“Step outside the front door and you can fire a pistol, throw knives, strip naked, whatever!”
I wish I was a commercial banker so I could afford to buy random crap like this.