Government Saves Us From Pros

The citizens of Philadelphia spent untold thousands of dollars in legal fees, court costs, and police enforcement the other day in order to protect its citizens from the evil woman known as Susan Finkelstein.

Finkelstein created a Craig’s List ad that offered sex in exchange for world series tickets.

The City Mayor was quoted as saying:

“This is a great day for justice and the safety of our fine citizenry.  The evil whore Finkelstein has been properly convicted of attempting to engage in a voluntary sex act for the express purpose of getting tickets to a baseball game.

The salvation of our children from the great Satan of Sex has been rendered by the State.  Amen.”

Finkelstein’s defense argued that the undercover male officer making the arrest actually had no penis, thus prostitution would have been impossible.  Its was also reported that the officer had no balls.

“The arresting officer is a pussy that has no balls or penis.  This obvious by the fact that he chose to pick on a woman attempting to get baseball tickets rather than going after criminals that actually pose a violent threat,” said Finkelstein’s lawyer.

This blogger is forced to concur with Finkelstein’s lawyer on the matter.  Its clear that the arresting cops are a bunch of eunuchs that don’t have enough balls to actually go after real criminals.  This is also evidenced by the fact that the arresting cops were seen driving smart cars on patrol.