US Government Violently Assaults Hollywood Actor For Failing To Fund Illegal Wars

The US Government has recently ordered the kidnapping and enslavement of actor Wesley Snipes for failing to pay his cut of their “protection money.”

The actor will be enslaved at the Federal Correctional Institution McKean in Lewis Run, Pennsylvania for a period of no more than 3 years. Of course, the US Government has also confiscated millions of dollars in property from Mr. Snipes which will be used to pay for the killing of goat herders in Afghanistan.

Further, Mr. Snipe’s money will be put to work paying for the US Military to protect the poppy fields used in heroin production from Taliban patriots whose religious beliefs preclude them from allowing the production of heroin in their country. Powerful banking interests were also keen to see Mr. Snipe’s money taken from him so they could use it further prop up their failed mortgage investments and fund their huge bonuses.

Bank of America CEO Brian Moynihan was quoted as saying, “Mr. Snipes is obviously a dangerous individual that doesn’t realize he has no idea how to spend his own money. In an effort to save society from evil men like Mr. Snipes, I have joined forces with the US Government and personally pressed the button that transfered millions of dollars out of Mr. Snipe’s bank account into our own bank reserve account with the Fed. This will help ensure Bank of America can continue offering the public the important service of debt enslavement.”

Snipe’s himself was quoted as saying,

“This is another thing that has been misreported: It has been framed that I was a conspirator and that I was an architect in a scheme by an organization that has been characterized as tax protesters,” Snipes said. “The press hasn’t reported that I was a client of people who I trusted [who] had knowledge and expertise in the areas of tax law that would protect my interests.”

Of course, ignorance of the law is no excuse. Just because you hire professional accountants to do your taxes does not mean you can pass the liability for knowing the tax law off on to them.

Every Amerikan is responsible for memorizing and complying with the entire 75,000 page US Tax code. The Supreme Soviet *cough* I mean Court has declared that ignorance is no excuse. Hail Mao.

Personally, I view evil violent men like Mr. Snipes as a threat to modern society. Clearly anyone who fails to pay their taxes should be imprisoned at gun point while having their property taken from them by force. If the State fails to forcibly extract “social justice” from men like Mr. Snipes, the entire nation would fall apart over night.

Children would die of hunger, the elderly would keel over dead in the streets, and baby bunnies would cry tears of agony as forest fires destroyed their homeland.

Society must extract revenge against Mr. Snipes for his wanton selfish actions of keeping his own money.

The horror.