There's No Business Like Government Business

I own a company that makes bullets. Good for me and good for you.

You see, you don’t know it yet, but you actually buy my bullets every day, and for that I thank you.

My company recently acquired a 10 million dollar contract to produce 5.56 NATO ammunition for use by the US military.

Your exact share of this 10 million dollar contract, assuming you are a working tax paying adult US citizen, is around 13 cents. For less than a cup of coffee, you are helping ensure high quality munitions are placed into the hands of those people who are protecting you from terrorists.

Of course, sources in the CIA recently revealed that they have been given the go-ahead to arm rebels in Libya, who are themselves affiliated with elements of Al Qaeda, so I guess your money is also going to help ensure terrorists get high quality munitions as well.

In the end, it doesn’t really matter to me who gets the bullets since I’m happy with the 10 million bucks.

I’m sure some of you liberals out there are furious about this, but I don’t really understand why.

Let’s take an example.

I get taxed to pay for things like the funding of a $168,300 SBA loan to the Escape Massage parlor in Midlothian, VA. I have no option not to pay for this.

It would be nice if I could decide on my own if funding the Escape Massage parlor is worth my while, but the reality is I am too stupid to decide such things for myself; therefore, bureaucrats are there to make sure my money gets spent in an appropriate manner that benefits society.

Without bureaucrats taking my money from me and spending it on massage parlors, the entire world would implode into anarchy with armed gangs of leather clad men driving around in post-apocalyptic death machines looting and raping vast swaths of society as they fought each other for scraps of oil made from pig feces.

In much the same way that I am too dumb to decide if funding massage parlors is in my best interest, so too are you too dumb to decide if funding my arms factory is in your best interest.

It is clear that society has spoken; and more arms for our men in uniform as well as insurgents is a necessary and proper thing for society as a whole.

Who are you to question what and how bureaucrats should spend your money?

Do you think you are somehow smarter than the collective will of the people?



If we were to cut military spending, think of all the people that would be thrown out into the streets. It is better that society takes from those who produce and gives to people like me who also produce. This helps everyone in the long run.

In the same way that teachers must be funded through coerced taxation, so too must arms manufacturers. We produce goods that society needs. And just like the teachers, cutting our funding would result in thousands of people being thrown into the streets being left to find food out of gutters and beg on street corners.

You don’t want to see families hurt do you?

Do you expect troops to buy their own ammunition!? This is no different than expecting poor children to fund their own education! Society would be destroyed instantaneously in a blinding flash of anarchy should this come to pass. Children would be left without protection from terrorists and they would be left totally uneducated as they sipped rice meal mush from wooden bowls graciously donated to them from the Chinese.

The only proper way to run a society is for bureaucrats (who are obviously smarter than people like you) to take your money through the use of coercion and to then allocate that money to people like myself who provide things that benefit society.

Any notion that you are smart enough to spend your own money has been falsified decades ago by Mancur Olson.

In summary, you are dumb, politicians are smart, and thank you for your money.