The Republican National Peace Prayer

Dear Lord,

Please give our troops the strength to crush those who oppose our nation’s collective will.  Please protect them in battle as they defend the poppy fields of Afghanistan from Taliban raiders who shut down opium production the year before we invaded them.  Please help us give our troops the most powerful weapons man can devise in order to stop Iranian sympathizers from controlling Iraqi oil.  And most importantly dear Lord, help us blast Muslims off the face of the earth in accordance with your will.

Finally dear Lord, after we have finished crushing our enemies in your name, let there be…


When the LORD your God brings you into the land you are about to enter and occupy, he will clear away many nations ahead of you: the Hittites, Girgashites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites, and Jebusites. [Israel, Palestine, Lebanon, Jordan, Syria, Turkey, Iraq]  These seven nations are all more powerful than you.  When the LORD your God hands these nations over to you and you conquer them, you must completely destroy them.  Make no treaties with them and show them no mercy.  Do not intermarry with them, and don’t let your daughters and sons marry their sons and daughters.  They will lead your young people away from me to worship other gods.  Then the anger of the LORD will burn against you, and he will destroy you.

-Deuteronomy 7:1-4